“I come before you this morning with great fear and trembling….”

It was all I could get out as I stood before the First Presbyterian Church congregation. There must have been over a thousand people in the congregation, the lights were on in the church, and I could see almost everyone.

I was quiet for a long minute. My friend, Pastor Steven McPhearson, was looking at me intently. Then I sobbed and the entire place went eerily silent. Pastor Steven came up and stood behind me and laid his hand on my shoulder. He was praying for me. It wasn’t an easy moment for me. I hadn’t preached in front of a church for almost thirty years and wasn’t sure I could do it again.

I wiped the tears from my face, cleared my throat, and apologized briefly. “The reason I am full of fear and trembling is not just because I haven’t done this for a long time but because I have a message that most of you will not like.” Pastor Steven returned to his seat on the stage behind me. We hadn’t known each other for very long but he liked my books and asked me to speak when I was in town.

“I am glad the lights are up, and I can see most of you but I’m not sure it will make a difference. You see, many of you are in great danger and I don’t know which ones you are.” The deathly quiet of the congregation was strange. No shuffling, whispers, or noises of any kind were heard.

“The most dangerous place on earth is right here, this morning, sitting in your seat, in a church on a Sunday morning.” I took a deep breath. “I know that doesn’t sound right, but it is true. Jesus said that there would be wheat and tares in his church until he returned, and this church is no different. Some of you are wheat and some of you are tares who think you are wheat.”

“There is only one way to know which one you are.” I stopped and opened my Bible to Matthew 7:21-23. “You might think that the elders and even the Pastors are exempt and have a foot in the door, but they are also in mortal danger, maybe more than the rest of you.”

I could feel the back of my head burning with the stares from Pastor Steven and his leaders sitting behind me. “You might think that the choir is somehow exempt.” I half turned and swept my arm to encompass the large choir sitting behind me further up on the stage. “But you would be wrong.”

“Matthew 7:21-23 is probably one of the scariest verses in the Bible for Christians. Listen to what it says, “Not everyone who says to me, ´Lord, Lord, ´ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. Many will say to me on that day, ´Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles? ´ Then I will tell them plainly, ´I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!”

“I don’t know about the rest of you, but I certainly haven’t cast out demons or done miracles. People with that kind of ministry effectiveness are few and far between, especially nowadays. And it doesn’t matter if you believe in casting out demons or not. That isn’t the point. The point is that even a pastor with the most effective ministry, done in the name of Jesus, may not be saved and is in great danger.”

I paused and then turned around and looked at my friend. “Even Pastor Steven.” I could see his eyes glistening, but I wasn’t sure why. I decided to keep going.

“Christianity is a dangerous religion,” I said. “Hebrews 9:27 and 28 tells us plainly that we are destined to die once and then face the judgment of God.” I looked around at the crowd that was listening intently. They seemed to relax a bit at that point but that just made me angry.

“Don’t think for a moment that you are exempt just because you call yourself a Christian. Yes, it is true, that Jesus will save us from the Judgement, but he just finished saying to the most effective ministers out there that many of them were condemned even though they had great ministries that God had blessed. If they were not exempt, what makes you think that you and I are?”

“If you are a secular humanist, you don’t believe in God and when you die, you just stop living. That’s it. There isn’t anything else. It may be sad, but it isn’t dangerous. If you belong to some Eastern religion, you might have some hope for reincarnation but that is hardly dangerous either, except in some general bad karma sort of way. No, Christianity is the dangerous one. For all of us.”

“Now don’t think for a moment that I am forgetting about Jesus and his death on the cross for our sins. That is the good news after all. If we are in Christ, we have his righteousness, and he takes our sins upon himself on the cross. In that case, the judgment is no longer dangerous to us. The problem is that most of us think it is some sort of magic trick.”

I saw a man get up and work his way past a row full of knees to get to the aisle and then work his way to the back of the church and disappear. It was so strange that we all watched him go and then the eyes swiveled back to me.

“Calling on the name of Jesus is not enough to save you from judgment, I’m afraid. There is more to it than that. We have a tendency to read all of the comforting words in the Bible but skip the verses that are more hard hitting, like this one in Matthew 7. Until we figure this one out, we will have no assurance of salvation and no safety from judgment. Unless we are “in Christ” and Christ is “in us,” we are still in danger.”

I started to move away from the pulpit to try to get my point across. I felt like I was walking on eggs.

“We know that if we receive the Holy Spirit as our guarantee of salvation, we are “in Christ” and he is “in us.” We become a new creation because we have a new relationship with God. All of that is fine and good. The problem is that we assume we have the Holy Spirit in us when in fact many of us do not.”

“How do I know that that is true? Because every church has wheat and tares, and the tares think they are wheat. Because many people confuse their good works and morals with their relationship with God. Because most people are more concerned about their careers than the kingdom of God. Because even Pastors and ministry leaders who have effective ministries that God has blessed have confused their ministries with their relationship with God. When I hear of a famous preacher who has been caught having an adulterous affair or embezzling funds from the ministry or whatever, I am sad for the people but happy for him. It is a severe mercy granted by God. He may be destroyed. His ministry may be discredited, but there is still hope for him if he comes to repentance and prioritizes his relationship with God over the effectiveness of his ministry.”

I paused for a long, pregnant minute. I felt like I was enveloped in a bubble of protection, and it felt warm and safe.

“What makes you think it is any different for you and me? It isn’t. There must be evidence for the presence of the Holy Spirit in the life of a person. Some people believe that speaking in tongues is evidence of being baptized in the Holy Spirit. That is a hotly debated subject even today. Some people believe that spiritual fruit and spiritual gifts are evidence of the Holy Spírit, and they certainly are. But all of those things can be counterfeited by the Devil to some degree.”

“Jonathan Edwards, the great American theologian who lived during the Great Awakening saw it all. He saw people crying out in church, laughing without control, giving money to the poor, raising their hands, and singing worship songs. He saw miracles happen, effective ministry take place and it was all good, but it was also full of counterfeit experiences as well. Not all of it but the tares in the church are good at imitating the other people in the church to hide in plain sight and many of them don’t even realize that they are doing so.”

“Jonathan Edwards believed that only the Way of the Cross was genuine evidence of the Holy Spirit. All the rest can come too but it has to be based in the cross and in the confession, repentance, forgiveness, and reconciliation that can only come from the blood of the Lamb.”

I saw a young family in one of the first rows stand up and make their way to the aisle and then out the back door. Again, everyone watched them in silence until they disappeared and then looked back at me.

“The point is not to imitate other Christians but to imitate God in a very special way. That is the heart of the gospel and without that, God may use you for effective ministry but you, yourself may not be saved. There are no shortcuts. Paul preached Christ crucified. The cross is central to your relationship with him.”

I took a deep breath and then let it out slowly.

“These are dangerous waters for all of us and I am not promising that everything will go according to plan or work out the way you want. But I promise you that this is the heart of the gospel, and you can check with your own pastor later on to see if he agrees.” I half-turned to give a weak smile to Pastor Steven but he was sitting forward with his head in his hands looking down at the floor. I hoped he was praying.

“Confession of your sins one to the other takes great courage. Your reputation is at stake and anything you say can be held against you. Just because you confess your sins doesn’t mean that the other person will appreciate it. It is humiliating and requires a heart that is broken before the Lord willing to follow in his footsteps no matter what the cost.”

“I know you’ve heard this all before, but it isn’t the hearing that is the evidence of the Holy Spirit but the doing of it. And doing it right away without delay. That is the fruit that God is looking for. That is the first step in the evidence that you are truly a new creation and that you have a personal relationship with God. Jonathan Edward said that confession is rooted in humility and that kind of courageous humility and brokenness can only come from God.”

“Then comes repentance and there is a lot that can be said here as well. Everything from truly changing your ways, to how you spend your time, money and resources, to how you walk in faith fulfilling the life ministry that God gave you to do, all of that is repentance. It is a daily walk in faith, picking up your cross and following Christ on his gospel mission to die on the cross on our behalf. Repentance takes training and endurance and maturity. It is a lifelong task and a way of life. Saying that you are sorry just doesn’t cut it. It takes an ongoing relationship with Christ in faith to maintain that walk. We are addicted to sin, and, like addicts, we need a community of fellow addicts to follow that path and pick us up when we fall down.”

“Does that sound difficult?”

I looked around carefully trying to gauge my words on the audience.

“It is difficult and only those who have the Holy Spirit can hope to survive the journey. At the same time, they believe that it is a journey worth taking and would have it no other way. Does that describe you?”

“There is so much to say about confession and repentance, but you get the idea. Both of them are rooted in the cross because they can only happen if you believe that forgiveness and reconciliation are possible. Without forgiveness and reconciliation, why would you bother to confess or repent? The whole point of the gospel is that the cross makes healing relationships possible. People don’t regret making more money or traveling more when they are on their deathbeds. They regret broken relationships that they could not fix. It is always about relationships, first with God but also with others. Christianity is about healing relationships. Paul called it the Ministry of Reconciliation.”

“This is where the rubber hits the road. This is the heart of the gospel. This is what matters most to God. He can use you for effective ministry, just like he used Balaam’s donkey, but what demonstrates the evidence and power of the Holy Spirit in your life more than anything else is the Ministry of Reconciliation, and that includes confession, repentance, and forgiveness as the foundation for getting to that healed relationship with God and others that the Bible calls reconciliation. It is a powerful place to be in and is a position of great anointing.”

“We don’t forgive just to get on with our lives. We don’t forgive because it is the right thing to do. We don’t forgive because it’s Christmas time and love is in the air. All of that is cheap forgiveness and will not last. A lot of people don’t want to forgive because they feel it lets the other person off the hook or that somehow, they are saying it wasn´t important or didn’t hurt and that seems unfair. And it is. The first thing to remember about forgiveness rooted in the cross is that sin is a far more serious business than we realize. Sin separates us from God and, ultimately, that separation will be eternal.”

“In other words, I tell people all the time that they should not just forgive people and let them off the hook. It is grossly unfair and is not rooted in the justice of God. In fact, when they sinned, they also sinned against God not just you. And the price of that sin is separation and judgment. Christianity is dangerous. We are judged for all of our moral decisions and moral decisions always have to do with out relationships with others and ourselves. That’s what morality is. It is relational. We will all be held to account for how we handle our relationships with other people.”

“But cheap forgiveness isn’t going to be accepted by God. Sin is a serious business and saying you’re sorry or accepting that from someone else isn’t good enough for God. And it shouldn’t be for you as well. The promise not to do it again is also a cheap repentance that will not be accepted. Cheap confession and cheap repentance are the norm and even that is often not accomplished. We need to go deeper in and further back and get to the power of the cross, and only the cross, to heal relationships.”

“The only price that can be paid for sin, any sin, is the blood of Christ and therefore when someone sins against you, God wants to ask you a question. Will you accept the blood of Christ as sufficient payment for this sin? Yes, or no. If not, then how can you be forgiven for your sins against others? What does the Lord’s Prayer say? Forgive us our sins as we have forgiven others.”

“Anything else is not sufficient for God and should not be sufficient for us. Jesus said to his disciples that any sins that they forgave on earth would be forgiven in heaven and whatever sins they did not forgive on earth would not be forgiven in heaven. That doesn’t mean all of the sins the other person has committed but it certainly means the ones that they have committed against you.”

“And when you have forgiven their sins in the name of Jesus because of the blood of the cross, you now have great authority to pray for them that they will also respond with confession and repentance and come to the foot of the cross. They may not, but you above all others have the power to pray for them and their salvation.”

“But there is still a second question that God wants to ask you. Once you have forgiven them on the basis of the cross, you must also reconcile with them. For a lot of people this is complicated because the other person may not be willing. Let’s keep it simple. There is something that you can do and there is something that they can do. God is asking you a simple question. Will you treat them as they are in Christ, even if they continue to act in the flesh? In other words, live at peace with others so far as it depends on you. Treat them as they are in Christ, spotless and blameless before the throne of Christ on that final day, even though they may continue to sin against you or fail to reconcile with you.”

“That is a high calling, a difficult calling because we all want to go to the throne of justice and cry out to God that it isn’t fair, that they are still treating us badly, that they haven’t changed, that they are taking advantage and telling everybody that it was our fault when it clearly was their fault.”

“You have to decide whether or not you will approach the throne of justice or the throne of mercy when it comes to your relationships with others. And going back and forth between them just makes no sense. You have to choose. The cross makes it possible to treat everyone, whether they deserve it or not, with mercy. Complaining, resentment, and bitterness are not the fruit of the Spirit. It doesn’t matter if everyone believes you were in the wrong when you were not. It doesn’t matter if you lose money or lose your reputation. It matters that you follow God and apply the blood of Christ to all wounds and treat everyone as they are and will be on that final day, whether they are Christians today or not.”

“And pray for them because now you have authority in prayer and anointing in your ministry whether anyone sees it or recognizes it or not. This is what it means to pick up your cross daily and follow him. This is your life ministry. This is what discipleship is all about. This is true worship, the imitation of God.”

I paused to look out at the crowd wondering what would happen next. There seemed to be an air of uncertainty and restlessness in the audience, and I couldn’t put my finger on it.

“Yes, the imitation of God. After all, God forgives our sins only on the basis of the blood of Christ shed on the cross and he treats us as we are in Christ and as we will be presented without spot or blemish on the final day.”

“Do you think it is easy for God to put up with our complaining and bitterness and resentfulness towards each other? Do you think that he is not rejected and blamed for a whole host of wrongs in this world that are truly our own responsibility? You might complain that it is unfair, and you would be right. The cross makes it all unfair. Christ getting your sin and you getting his righteousness. What’s fair about that? Only Christ can bring the throne of justice and the throne of mercy together into a place of reconciliation and we must join him there.”

Now it was going to get rough. We were only just getting started. Reality was about to set in.

“Up to this point, it may have been an interesting sermon for you. Lots of good biblical truths that you probably agree with, but we are still not off the hook. Jesus made it clear that he was looking for fruit in our lives that is the evidence of the Holy Spirit within us. If you want to know the difference between the wheat and the tares in the church, you need to look at the fruit.”

“Just before the passage that says ´Lord, Lord,´Jesus talked about a tree and its fruit and false prophecy and the narrow and wide gates. This is all part of the Sermon on the Mount, and he ends his sermon by saying “Therefore, everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who builds his house on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The point is that the storms will come sooner or later, trials and temptations, disease and death, and finally judgment will come. The question is whether you are wise or foolish and that depends on what you actually do when you leave church today.”

A number of people were getting up and leaving but I couldn’t blame them. They were used to a twenty-minute sermon, and I was going on for about an hour already and I wasn’t done yet.

“So that is why I am scared for this church. Yes, this church. Pastor Steven’s church. There seems to be a lot of people dedicated to chasing the American Dream but not to building the Kingdom of Heaven. There seems to be a lot of people who are good, moral, upright citizens but not spirit-filled prayer warriors dedicated to a ministry of reconciliation.”

I noticed a number of people in the balcony getting up and leaving as well but I determined to keep on and get to the point of the whole thing.

“The wheat and the tares are hard to tell apart but not because the tares act so spiritual but rather because the wheat acts so worldly. It may be true of a lot of churches, but I am here today, and I am speaking to you and there is no time to lose. This is of the utmost importance that you do not leave this for another day but deal with things right away. Otherwise, the devil will come in and steal the seed of faith that is being planted. Do not take him for a fool. He knows what he is doing and will distract you, disorient you, and dissuade you from dealing with your broken relationships. He is playing for time because it is embarrassing to deal with it right away.”

I heard some muttering behind me and turned around to see some people in the choir on their cell phones and two or three get up and move to a different part of the choir to talk to someone else. What was happening?

“Next week you will celebrate Holy Communion, but you probably shouldn’t. The Lord’s Supper is for those who are right with God, all sins confessed and forgiven between them and God. The Lord’s Supper is for those who are right with their brothers and sisters as well. Leave your offering at the altar, the Bible says, and go and reconcile first with your brother and then come to sacrifice and worship God.”

Pastor Steven got out of his seat and walked down to an older gentleman on the first row and sat beside him and started to whisper in his ear. And he wasn’t the only one. I felt like nobody was listening anymore. I didn’t know what to do. More and more people were getting up and leaving and others were talking together, and some looked like they were praying.

“Can you hear an exceptional sermon or sing songs that make you weep or cry with joy in church even though you are not reconciled to your brother or sister? Yes, you can. But it has no power, no anointing, no effectiveness. But then, who cares? No one is judging you except God himself. No one is evaluating your spiritual effectiveness in prayer and reconciliation because it isn’t our job to do so. If you don’t hunger and thirst to please God and live a life of power and anointing in effective ministry, then you can probably get away with living a mediocre life of being a bunch of weeds in the patio of God’s temple.”

“The pastor should not preach, the choir should not sing, nor should you come to church if you are not first reconciled to God and your brother so far as it depends on you. No one will judge you, except God himself and, of course, you will know. And that is how it should be. But it is dangerous if you ignore such a great salvation.”

Finally, I just stopped. There was no Amen, no song, just a half-empty church with a bunch of people talking and praying together as if I wasn’t there. So, I left the stage and walked down the aisle and out of the back of the church.

It was a bit more than a week later before I heard from Pastor Stephen. He told me that almost nobody showed up for Communion that next Sunday, less than a hundred people in fact. But he seemed overjoyed by that piece of news. He apologized for being so tardy in getting back to me, but he had been busier than ever before in working with people who were struggling to reconcile with people after years of resentment and bitterness. He wanted me to come back to teach more on the Way of the Cross and get into the practicalities of what that meant in everyday life.

I was thrilled to be of service but I knew the Holy Spirit would be able to teach them all they needed to know.