“Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for each other, love one another deeply, from the heart” (I Peter 1:22 NIV).
“Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good” (Romans 12:9 NIV).
The Holiness Project – Relationships
We’re the generation that doesn’t want relationships.
We want a second cup of coffee in our Instagram’s of lazy Saturday mornings.
We want a second pair of shoes in the artsy pictures we take of our feet.
We want that Facebook official relationship that everyone can like and comment on.
We want the post that wins relationship goals.
We want that date for Sunday morning brunch, someone to drown our sorrows for the Monday blues.
We want that Taco Tuesday partner, someone to text us “Good morning” on a Wednesday.
We want a +1 for all the weddings we keep getting invited to.
How did they do it? How did they find their happily ever after?
But we’re the generation that doesn’t want a relationship.
We swipe left in hopes of finding the right one.
We try to special order our soul mates like we do on Postmates.
We read “5 Ways to Know that he’s into You” and “7 Ways She Will Fall For You”
Thinking we can upcycle a person into a relationship like a Pinterest project.
We invest more time in our Tinder profiles than we do with our personalities
Yet we’re the ones that don’t want a relationship.
We talk and we text. We snapchat and we sext. We hang out and we happy hour.
We go get coffee and grab a beer. Anything to avoid an actual date.
We private message to meet up, small talk for an hour
Only to return home and then small talk via text.
We forego and chance of a real connection by mutually playing games with no winner.
The only thing we end up winning is most likely to be alone.
We want the facade of a relationship without the work of a relationship.
We want the handholding without the eye contact.
We want the teasing without the serious conversations.
We want the pretty promise without the actual commitment.
We want to celebrate the anniversaries without the 365 days leading up to them.
We want the happily ever after without the effort in the here and now.
We want to have deep connections but still keep things shallow.
We want that World Series kind of love without willing to go to bat.
We want someone to hold our hands but we don’t want to put the power to hurt us in their hands.
We want to be swept off our feet but at the same time remaining safely, independently, standing on our own.
We want to keep chasing love but we don’t actually want to fall into it.
We don’t want relationships. We want friends with benefits.
We want Netflix and Chill and nudes on Tinder.
We want everything that will give us the illusion of a relationship without an actual relationship.
We want the rewards with no risk, the payout with no cost.
We want to connect enough but not too much. We want to commit a little but not a lot.
We take it slow, see where it goes. We don’t want to label things, just go with the flow.
We keep one foot out the door, we keep one eye open.
We keep people at arm’s length, toying with their emotions.
But mostly toying with our own.
When things get too close to being real, we run, we hide, we leave, we say to ourselves “there’s more fish in the sea.”
We want the downloadable person that’s a perfect fit, just like an app you can update whenever there’s a hitch.
Compartmentalized into a folder that we can delete when we have no more need for it.
We don’t want to unpack our baggage, or worse help someone unpack theirs.
We hide everything behind an Instagram filter, we choose a Netflix show over a real conversation.
We feel entitled to love like we feel entitled to full-time jobs out of college.
We want a placeholder not a person, we want a warm body not a partner.
We want someone to eat with while we scroll through our newsfeed.
See, what we need to recognize is that the things we truly want, the things that are deeply meaningful, the things that are genuinely fulfilling all require patience.
They all require work. They all require energy.
See, the challenge is we all want to be with someone who makes us happy,
When what we need to do is be someone who makes us happy.
We sit with our friends discussing the rules but no one even knows what game we’re trying to play.
Because the problem with our generation not wanting relationships is that
At the end of the day, we actually do.
Performed by Jay Shetty. Adapted from Krysti Wilkinson.