I know an old man who has gone to church his whole life. He has been an elder. Occasionally, he has preached a sermon or two when the Pastor was unavailable. He is a good man. He is also caught deep in the well of unforgiveness and doesn’t even want to get out. He is comfortable as well as miserable right where he is as is often the case with the sin of unforgiveness. Justifications and rationalizations make strange bedfellows, but they are preferred to the alternative of letting people off the hook as if it didn’t matter.

Getting this man to even talk about it is practically impossible. He is well-entrenched and considers it not to be a blemish on his Christian witness since it is so well justified. You see, his best friend committed adultery with his wife years ago which led both to a divorce and death since his best friend decided to take his own life rather than face the shame of family, friends, and church.

Can you blame him? I don’t.

In fact, more people should be caught in this deep well of unforgiveness both inside and outside the church. Most often forgiveness is cheap and powerless to heal relationships and to play games with something so important is simply foolish. Better to be honest and not forgive people at all for their sins against you. Especially when it matters.

It doesn’t sound very Christ-like, does it?

No, it doesn’t because we haven’t gotten there yet. Most people, even inside the church, have no idea what Christian forgiveness is all about and very seldom use it to resolve their differences with each other. Cheap forgiveness has invaded the church like a virus and made it powerless to heal relationships and empower effective ministry.

The world tells us that we must forgive others in order to move on. It isn’t about them, it’s about us. Unforgiveness, bitterness, and resentment will eat you up and trap you in the past they say. And they are right. There is no other solution, they say, than to simply forgive the other person and move on. Find something to love, find a new purpose in life, and learn to trust someone again. That’s normal therapy for anyone facing broken relationships, especially if the other person is no longer around to talk to.

And it isn’t just for the serious issues of life, like adultery and suicide, or murder and embezzlement, or any myriads of ways we have of hurting each other. Every day there are reasons to forgive others for bullying, emotional abuse, or angry words. Anything that puts the relationship at risk is in need of forgiveness. But even here, forgiveness is cheap. Saying you’re sorry and making a commitment not to do it again is cheap forgiveness and cheap repentance.

The Bible tells us that “love covers a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:7-11 NIV) and that’s true too. The idea is to “love each other deeply” and not take offense at every slight or mistake. So long as the relationship is intact and there was no intention to hurt or offend, love can cover a multitude of sins, no doubt about it. But it is only possible in Christ because that love is rooted in the cross and our relationships in the church have a mantle of divine forgiveness that protects us from the attacks of the Evil One and our own sinful nature. True enough.

But that is the point. It is not cheap forgiveness, but divine forgiveness that is the basis of the love that covers a multitude of sins, and divine forgiveness is the only kind that has any power to protect us. The title of this post is Forgiveness is Divine and that’s not merely fancy words but rather a fitting description of the only forgiveness that has the power to heal. Even if love is in the air at Christmas, forgiveness that truly heals is found at Easter and nowhere else.

That is why I say that more people should be living in the deep well of unforgiveness with their resentments and bitterness because it would be more honest than the cheap forgiveness that lets people off the hook for no good reason. It is unfair, unjust, and an abomination to God. Every sin that is committed towards us is also committed towards God and He will not forgive it just because we want to move on with our life.

So, the first thing I tell people who are deep in the well of unforgiveness is that they are entirely in the right not to forgive and that God agrees with them completely. What happened was unforgivable and should not be forgotten. In fact, God is angrier about it than they are.

That usually surprises them a bit. But it shouldn’t.

Not only did his best friend and wife break their relationship with the old man but they also broke their relationship with God and that can have eternal consequences. The whole point of hell, after all, is separation from God and all of his blessings and benefits. And there is no coming back from that because there is no way to turn fear into love from a place in hell. Only in this life is that possible. And that is only possible through divine forgiveness.

The idea is not to go too fast at this point in your ministry to those who are deep in the well of unforgiveness. Give them time to process these truths. That God is angrier even than they are and that those who sinned are deserving of eternal hell for breaking their relationship with them and God both. That is the truth and any attempt at cheap forgiveness will not be accepted by God. Nor should it be accepted by them.

So, what is this divine forgiveness all about?

You already know that I am going to talk about the cross but most of us don’t really know how to apply the forgiveness of the cross to our relationships. It has to do with our relationship with God, we know, but how does it apply to our relationships with other people especially when their actions are truly unforgiveable? They may not even ask for forgiveness or think that they did anything wrong. Even worse.

But divine forgiveness can handle it all if we let it. After all, the cross is the only way that God can forgive us. His divine justice will allow him no other escape. Christmas love is no match for Easter justice. And justice is what is needed here. And we know it.

Most people are caught in the well of unforgiveness because they don’t want to just let the other person off the hook. That would be unfair. It would be unjust. It would be a disgrace to the memory of better times and healthier relationships before the sin was committed. It is a violation of the love and value of the relationship itself.

To forgive lightly is to say that it didn’t really matter, no big deal, time heals all wounds, and it's time to move on. Maybe we still don’t trust them, and we certainly no longer have a relationship with them, but as far as we are concerned, the matter is closed, forgotten, and archived away in some long-forgotten compartment of our mind until some well-intentioned pastor or counselor tries to resurrect the dead relationships best left to rot in their tombs.

And they are right except for the fact that, in history, at a specific time and place, God intervened in our world to establish a beachhead of healing power that allows his followers to experience the healing that comes from divine forgiveness. This applies as much to our relationship with Him as it does to our relationships with others and ourselves (that is a whole other conundrum that also needs to be dealt with).

When I need to ask for forgiveness from someone, I ask them for a favor. Please don’t forgive me because you are in a good mood, or it doesn’t matter anymore with the passing of time or even because you like me or respect me as a person (even if I am the Pastor). Only forgive me based on the blood of Christ applied to my sin against you. Usually, that takes some explanation, but Christians get the point rather quickly.

You see, God is asking you a question when it comes time to forgive someone (including yourself). Will you accept the blood of Christ as sufficient payment for this sin against you? Point blank. There is nothing else. No other payment is possible. Sin is far too serious and with eternal consequences to be playing with cheap forgiveness. I know that I am not truly forgiven by that person if it isn’t based on the blood of Christ. It is the only thing that God will accept as sufficient payment.

And it has nothing to do with how big or small the sin is. All sin is relational and can only be dealt with on the cross. Sin was (and is) so serious that it caused God the Father to ask His Son to die a painful and excruciating atonement on the cross and in hell for even the lightest, simplest, least painful of sins. We are accustomed to living in sin, but the purity and strength of God’s justice rooted in His love for us allows no other payment than the death of His son for each and every sin ever committed on the face of the earth.

So, the question remains. Will you do it God’s way or your own way? Will you use divine forgiveness or cheap forgiveness to try and heal relationships? This is serious business and God is waiting for your answer.

Or are you convinced that the sin against you was too great even for the cross? If you are unwilling to forgive even then, what are you saying? Is the blood of Christ too cheap? Is it not sufficient? Maybe for you, it isn’t. If you aren’t a Christian, why would you care about some Hebrew Rabbi who died on a cross outside of Jerusalem over two thousand years ago? I get it. If you aren’t a Christian, it makes no sense. So, feel free to stay trapped in your deep well of unforgiveness and let resentment and bitterness eat you up until the maggots come and finish the job. No problem. It’s just so sad as to make the angels weep with grief.

If you are a Christian, then you might want to think about the warning in the Lord’s prayer that says, “Forgive us our debts as we have forgiven our debtors” (Matthew 6:12 NIV). Meaning that if you deny that the cross is not sufficient for other people’s sins against you, how can it be sufficient for your sins against them? Well, you might say, I haven’t done anything half as bad as what they have done to me. What does that have to do with it? God is not grading on a scale. All sin is relational, and all broken relationships end up in hell. End of story. No divine forgiveness, no healing, no salvation.

So, there is good news and there is bad news.

The bad news is that cheap forgiveness is powerless and useless in the eyes of God. The good news is that there is good news. There is divine forgiveness, but you have to use it on purpose, for specific sins, regardless of the other person. And right there is the best news of all. Regardless of the other person.

There is nothing more difficult than to help two people reconcile their differences and forgive each other. It is true spiritual warfare. It takes prayer and fasting. It takes repeated, concentrated effort. But mutual forgiveness leading to true reconciliation in this world is a powerful ministry and leads to great anointing. We aren’t there yet. That will come in our discussion on reconciliation.

For now, we are talking about divine forgiveness and there is a lot that can be done just on your side without yet talking about the other person, whether they are alive or dead, Christians or not, willing to talk or ready to kill you on sight. None of that matters yet. Forgiveness, at least the first steps, can be done by you, on your own, before the throne of God in prayer.

Every time someone comes to mind that reminds me of a situation that needs to be forgiven, I immediately pray to God and say, “Lord, I forgive this person in the name of Christ. I do not hold their sins against them. I accept the blood of your son on the cross as more than sufficient payment for this sin against me. Do not hold this sin against them for Jesus’ sake. Amen.”

Do you remember when Jesus told his disciples “Whatever sins you forgive on earth will be forgiven in heaven and whatever sins you do not forgive on earth will not be forgiven in heaven” (John 20:23 NIV)? People have twisted that out of proportion throughout history, but I suggest that the right understanding of Jesus words is quite simple. We aren’t talking about all of the sins that a person commits in their life. That is the work of the cross and has to do with their relationship with God through Christ. It has nothing to do with us. Isn’t that obvious?

But, on the other hand, when someone sins against us and we forgive them with that same powerful, divine forgiveness of the cross, that sin, and only that sin, is now forgiven in heaven. They may still go to hell because the blood of the lamb has not redeemed their entire life but not because of that one sin against you. Heaven has forgotten it. It has been wiped clean. We participate in the healing power of the cross to restore relationships because it isn’t only about our relationship with God but also with others inside and outside the church.

This is true for Christians and non-Christians alike. It may not save someone from hell, but it can be a foothold of restoration in their life, an example of the power of the healing power of the blood of Christ, a testimony, a witness to the transformation that is happening within us that may break through their unbelief and give them a spark of hope and a reason to listen.

And besides, your ability to pray for those you forgive has also been empowered with your willingness to forgive based on the cross. Now you have authority in their life to forgive sins and pray for them, for their salvation, for their healing, for their spiritual growth. That authority in prayer becomes a vital part of your life ministry (if you are dedicated to a ministry of reconciliation as all Christians must be).

So, whenever I am praying for someone and applying the power of the cross to that relationship and asking God not to hold that sin against them, I am also praying for their salvation and healing as well. I also include whatever family members and friends I know about that are involved in their lives (just in case). I often ask God to bring someone into their lives who can minister to them or share the gospel. I am willing to be that person but sometimes that doesn’t work out very well at the beginning unless there is mutual forgiveness and reconciliation.

So far, we are talking about what you can do on your own, in your own prayers and relationship to God. You can forgive others before the throne of God and pray for those who have offended you. That is a powerful place to start even if it isn’t where things will end. There is more to come.

But let me talk about one other very important area of forgiveness that many people overlook. Forgiving yourself. And yes, you must forgive yourself but not with the cheap forgiveness of the world but rather the powerful forgiveness of the cross.

Again, each time I am reminded of something that I have done in my life that was embarrassing, shameful, or sinful, I take a moment to bring it to God in prayer. “Lord, I know that you have forgiven me for this sin, but I am still ashamed, or I still feel some of its power in my life. Thank you for your forgiveness but I also need to forgive myself. I accept the blood of Christ on the cross as sufficient payment for this sin against myself and I forgive myself for it and will remember it no more. Do not allow it to have any power in my life to shame me or embarrass me when it comes to mind. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.”

And, of course, I now have the authority to pray for myself and my own healing because I am walking the Way of the Cross and applying divine forgiveness even to my own sins against myself.

This is also true if I have sinned against someone else with the addition that I need to ask forgiveness and seek reconciliation from them as well. That can be difficult but the discussions on confession and repentance should help. Just remember to forgive yourself in the process.

When someone asks me, what Christianity is all about, I tell them it is the power of God to heal relationships. It really is that simple. Sin is serious business and Christ had to die on the cross to deal with it. God doesn’t take it lightly and neither should we. Reconciliation with God is the ultimate goal but reconciliation among the brothers and sisters in the church is an integral part of our witness. Finally, reconciliation even with those who do not believe is a powerful form of evangelism and witness. Helping others to heal their relationships is what Christianity is all about. God first. Others based on that healing.

Will the old man find his way out of the pit of unforgiveness? I don’t know. It depends on whether he has people around him who know how to talk to him, how to show him a better way, and whether there is powerful and effective prayer for this spiritual warfare that is the essence of our life ministry here on earth. I pray that God will grant him that healing.

The Desert Warrior