Tag Archives: Confession

Seeking Jerusalem – Day 24 “Spiritual Time Out”

13 Sunday Oct 2019

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The Way of the Cross – Lenten Season 2018

“We are fools for Christ……We are weak, but you are strong! You are honored, we are dishonored.  To this very hour we go hungry and thirsty, we are in rags, we are brutally treated, we are homeless.  We work hard with our own hands.  When we are cursed, we bless; when we are persecuted, we endure it; when we are slandered, we answer kindly.  Up to this moment we have become the scum of the earth, the refuse of the world…..therefore, I urge you to imitate me.” (I Corinthians 4:10-13, 16 NIV).

Spiritual Time Out

Ok, let’s take a deep breath and stop for a moment.  That’s a lot to take in.  We need a spiritual time out.  Relax.  Let’s think about this for a moment…

There is nothing that can scare us more than the prospect of admitting our deepest sins and taking the risk of being rejected, shamed or (perhaps worse of all) ignored.

But God makes it clear that He wants us to confess our sins to one another (and to Him) no matter what the risk.  That confession is the first step in the Way of the Cross.  Without confession there is no need for repentance.  Forgiveness becomes a mere formality and true reconciliation, an undefined longing in the night for something that eludes our grasp.  Anointing?  Transforming power?  Forget it.

Without confession (and repentance), forgiveness and reconciliation lose their power.  The cross has been side-stepped, good intentions and a positive attitude are good enough to keep the peace.  Sigh.

Sometimes the problem is simply that people don’t know what they are missing, they have a sense that things were different in the primitive church, that signs and wonders and transformative power were common in the church of that age when being a Christian meant that you were putting your life in danger and so you took it more seriously and transformative power was essential.

They needed it, they wanted it, they sought it, they cried out to God for it, they searched the scriptures for it.  Perhaps the anointing is only for those who want it, who need it, as much as they need food and water, as much as they need to breathe.

We don’t know what we’re missing but maybe we are a bit scared of that power as well.  It is dangerous after all.  Confession always is.  But without it, repentance has no power to transform.  Without it, forgiveness is weak and insipid.  Without it, there is no true reconciliation.  Therefore there is no anointing, no power from on high, and the church remains undistinguishable from the world because, after all, they are worldly.  They have the form of religion but deny its power.

But for those who still long for the glory of God to reveal itself in the lives of His people, those who believe with all their hearts that there is something more, something supernatural, something transformative about this new relationship with God based on the cross and empowered by the Holy Spirit, for them, and only for them, God reveals His path, His Way of the Cross.

Paul said that he preaches only about Christ and him crucified.  Is this what he meant?  The Way of the Cross.  Confession.  Repentance. Forgiveness and Reconciliation.  Each step an act of faith.  Each moment filled with danger and expectation of God’s intervention, the work of the Holy Spirit released in power in the lives of those who have the courage to follow Him into the darkness carrying the light of the good news.  Practical.  Real.  Dangerous.  Glorious.

But let’s make each step clear so that we can take them boldly, and begin our training in the Way of the Cross by taking the first step out of the boat with faith and confidence that this is the path that pleases God, that creates men and women of faith who now have the power of their testimony, their transformation, to be used in the rescue of their children, their family, their friends, their fellow church members out of the darkness and into the light.  Healing will follow.  Healing for relationships.  Healing of body and soul.  Healing with signs and wonders following.

When you discover that you are not right with someone, you must act promptly and sincerely to rectify the situation and regain spiritual unity.  You must care enough to do something about it.  That is the first step.

But more needs to be said.  What does it mean to be out of spiritual unity with someone?  Jesus said that if you have something against someone, or they have something against you, take steps to reconcile.  If it doesn’t work one on one, then get the spiritual leaders of the church involved.  Do whatever you have to do to solve the problem and restore the relationship, really and truly and sincerely, not just as a job to get done, but with sincerity of heart.

And here is where the problem is.  We are accustomed to disunity in the body of Christ.  Nobody says that we have to know everybody in the church or that everybody has to be our best friends.  Not practical.  But those we do have a relationship with, we are responsible for the condition of that relationship.

We are far too comfortable with the status quo, with the disunity that is so common in the church.  The puritan pastors would make someone their best friend if they had a problem with them or they with the pastor.  If the relationship was broken in any way, they would go to any lengths to find a solution, no matter how long it took or how often they had to repent, apologize, explain, talk, cry, ask for forgiveness, give grace, ask for grace.

What they did NOT do is ignore it, accept it, or simply justify it by saying that they did their best to reconcile on their part and the rest was up to the other.  Bullshit.  Yes, there is no other word that is more appropriate to that kind of ungodly thinking.  God expects us to fight for our relationships, for healing, for forgiveness.  He was willing to die to make it possible, we should at least be willing to keep trying, keep arguing, keep talking, keep expecting, keep fighting to make it happen.

But if you insist on reconciliation, if you raise your voice, if you fight to keep it front and centre and are unwilling to give up or give in until it is accomplished, aren’t you the one in the wrong?

One pastor even claimed that I was NOT a peacemaker because I continue to bring the same things up over and over again when it was already forgiven (but not reconciled).  I replied that the peace that Jesus brings is not like the peace that the world wants or expects.  It is a peace based on the cross and is accomplished only through the Way of the Cross.  He didn’t like that answer.

There was something wrong with my insistence that confession and repentance, forgiveness and reconciliation are essential and mandatory and important and the lifeblood of our ministry.  Especially among the leaders.  Without it, there is no anointing and without the anointing…..well, let’s just say that God isn’t pleased.

I would rather make mistakes, screw up and do it all wrong, but TRY to please God than just stay in my comfortable safe zone of pretending to be a real Christian.

If you cannot pray with someone with an open and sincere heart and work together for the spreading of the gospel and the establishment of the kingdom of God in the lives of people using your spiritual gifts in the context of the spiritual fruit that God is growing in your life, then you do NOT have spiritual unity.

If you are NOT right with someone, or someone is NOT right with you, will you do everything in your power to restore that relationship?  Or will you ignore it?

The second step is to be willing to take a spiritual time out and spend some time with God before talking to the person one on one.  If the first step is to be aware and open to the possibility that there is a problem, a lack of unity, that must be rectified, the second step is to talk to God about it.  And do that first.

In our last post, we talked about brokenness and the power of God that is released when we are willing to truly and sincerely ask God to reveal to us whatever sin we may have committed in that relationship.  After all, we aren’t surprised, are we, that we may have sinned?  Something happened.  The person has something against us after all.  Maybe they are wrong.  Maybe they are right.

How will you know unless you talk to God about it and search the scriptures (and your heart) and talk to other spiritual leaders to whom you are accountable.

This is a key point.  The Holy Spirit will convict you of your guilt but the Word of God will tell you whether or not something is a sin from God’s point of view.  We have to be willing to search our hearts and search the scriptures.  The heart is deceitful above all things, the Bible says.  Spiritual blindness still affects those who are in Christ.  Humility and grace will be necessary.

The third step is to go and talk with that person.  It is the first talk not the last.  You need to find out what the problem is from their point of view.  Listen carefully.  Take notes if you have to.  Don’t be in a hurry to get to forgiveness before you go through the cleansing step of confession and the committment of repentance as an act of reconciliation.

On the other hand (see below), God may provide you a short cut to forgiveness, so take it and then circle back to confession and repentance later.  But don’t be so foolish as to think you can skip that step.  It is essential for your relationships and also for your ministry of reconciliation and establishing a culture of grace in the church.

But let’s not get ahead of ourselves.  The point here is to take your time.  This isn’t a one time conversation.  This is a relationship.  Get to know this person.  Make them your friend.  Find out what makes them tick.  The more difficult they are, the more work (and prayer) you will need to do.  But there is a reason why they are the way they are.  Find out what it is.  This is a time of ministry.

Three things that I want you to keep in mind. 

First, the church is watching.  How you deal with the most difficult in the church will reflect on how the rest of the church believes you will deal with them.  This is your chance to create a culture of grace rather than a culture of shame.  We will talk about that in the next post.

Second,  it’s about the relationship, stupid.  It isn’t about what happened.  It isn’t about what he said or she said.  It’s about what it means for the relationship.  It’s about that sinking feeling that what someone said means that they don’t actually care for you.  It’s about that terrible surprise that someone doesn’t actually like you, that they are only putting up with you, that they agree with those who are bad-mouthing you, that you are unimportant, or even worse, never were important to them.  It’s about love.  It’s about feeling the shame of realizing that you care what they think and that you just discovered (through whatever action or words that were spoken) that they think less of you then you do of them, or worse, that they don’t think about you at all.  That you are nothing to them.  It’s always about the relationship.

So, even in the first meeting with the person, make it clear that you value them and your relationship with them.  That you want to understand exactly what the problem is and that you will do everything you can to make it right, whatever it takes.  You cannot confess something you did not do, nor can you repent of something that you don’t believe is a sin before God.  They will respect that, but you must also make it clear that we are all blind to our own faults and that good intentions are not enough.  Tell them that you want to spend some serious time in prayer asking God to reveal the truth to you so that you CAN confess and repent of whatever it is that God reveals to you.

But, and this is the most important part, regardless of whether you come to an agreement on what was said or what was done or what was meant or interpreted by any action, you MUST make it clear that you value them and your relationship with them and that you will confess and repent of any and all things that you can even remotely think of.  That will go a long way towards reconciliation and may even solve the problem then and there.  God may provide a shortcut to forgiveness at that point, so take it.

But that doesn’t mean that you are off the hook.  The opportunity to heal the relationship because of your declaration of love for this person does NOT let you off the hook.  The job is only half done.

First, the church is watching.  Second, it’s about the relationship, stupid.  Third, you can’t forget about confession and repentance.  It doesn’t work that way.  That’s the third and most important thing that needs to be said. 

Even if you hug and give forgiveness and grace to each other, still make a committment to pray and seek God in terms of confession and repentance.  And set a time to get together to continue your discussion and sharing your heart.

God went to all this trouble to bring something to your attention and now you just ignore the process.  Not wise.  This is an opportunity to dig deep and discover some things for you to work on.  And you can invite the other person to do the same thing. 

Did you hear that last thing I said?  You can invite the other person to do the same thing.  In the context of grace.  In the context of forgiveness.  You both can go to the cross and seek an understanding of your sins (yours and his/hers) so that you can confess and repent, so that you can protect your relationship in Christ and the relationships you have with the rest of the church (and that the person sitting in front of you has with the rest of the church).

Do you see it?  DO YOU SEE IT? It’s so beautiful, so glorious! This is what matters!

You just turned a problem into an opportunity to do ministry.  You are creating a culture of grace and demonstrating the power of God to heal relationships.  Now the anointing can come.  Now lives are transformed.  Now the cross has the power to heal relationships.  This is what it is all about.

Every broken relationship.  Every relational problem in the church.  Every time there is a person with a beef, a parishioner with a chip on his shoulder, or needing to lash out at the leadership (who is the most visible and vulnerable), you have an opportunity to engage in the ministry of reconciliation.

If you make it important, if you follow the steps, if you understand the dynamics, if you become a disciple of the cross, if you follow that path yourself, God will anoint your ministry with more power than you will know what to do with. 

That is what it is all about.  Confession is the gateway.  Brokeness is the context of confession.  Grace is the divine ingredient.  Love is the purpose and reconciliation is the result.  Repentance is the proof and forgiveness the bridge.

There is nothing more beautiful, nothing more exciting, nothing more transformative than the ministry of reconciliation but for it to happen, humility and grace, confession and repentance must be your constant companions, whether you are the accuser or the accused, the sinner or the saint (and we are always both), or in the right or not.  What does it matter?

It’s about the ministry of reconciliation and what you are willing to do to get there.  How important is it to you?  That is the question.  It is everything to God.  He died to make it happen.  All of the power of heaven is available to make it happen.  It is the one prayer that is always sure to get God’s attention.  But it all begins with an attitude, an awareness, a way of seeing relationships (as God sees them), broken and insipid and weak when, in the power of the Holy Spirit, they should be strong, and beautiful and powerful.

This is the way God is rescuing the world one relationship at a time.  Welcome to the family of God and the ministry of reconciliation.

The Desert Warrior

Let’s talk to God……

Lord, I have to admit that I have gotten lazy and I have not taken my broken and weak relationships seriously enough.  It is easier just to assume that I did my best and the rest is up to them.  I know that isn’t true.  You fight to the death for our spiritual unity.  I must do the same.  Teach me the ways of the ministry of reconciliation.  Teach me the humility and brokeness of confession so that I am always aware of the relationships around me.  Let me learn to be a champion of the cross and not be satisfied with anything less.  In your name I pray.  Amen.

 

Seeking Jerusalem – Day 33 “Hosea and Gomer”

18 Sunday Mar 2018

Posted by in Daily Devotionals, Lenten Season, Seeking Jerusalem, Uncategorized

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Temptations2The Way of the Cross – Lenten Season 2018

“When the LORD began to speak through Hosea, the LORD said to him, “Go, take to yourself an adulterous wife and children of unfaithfulness, because the land is guilty of the vilest adultery in departing from the LORD.”  So he married Gomer daughter of Diblaim, and she conceived and bore him a son….Gomer conceived again and gave birth to a daughter….  After she had weaned Lo-Ruhamah, Gomer had another son” (Hosea 1:2,3,6a,8a NIV).

“Rebuke your mother, rebuke her, for she is not my wife.  Let her remove her adulterous look from her face and the unfaithfulness from between her breasts…I will not show my love to her children, because they are the children of adultery.  Their mother has been unfaithful and has conceived them in disgrace” (Hosea 2:1,4,5a NIV).

The LORD said to me, “Go, show your love to your wife again, though she is loved by another and is an adulteress.  Love her as the LORD loves the Israelites, though they turn to other gods and love the sacred raisin cakes.”  So I bought her for fifteen shekels of silver and about a homer and a lethek of barley.  Then I told her, “You are to live with me many days; you must not be a prostitute or be intimate with any man, and I will live with you” (Hosea 3:1-3 NIV).

Hosea and Gomer

“God told me to marry you.”

She stood there like a hawk, her whole frame rigid and brittle, ready to fight or run.  I wasn’t sure which.

“Aren’t you going to say anything?”

“Yes.”  But no other words were spoken.

“I know this might come as a shock to you….”

“You think?”

“….but I assure you that I have the best of intentions.”

Silence.

Exasperated, I blurted out, “Do you want to marry me or not?”

“Who could resist a marriage proposal like that,” she said, the sarcasm dripping from her words like venom.

“Great.  It’s settled then,” I said.  “I’ll make all the arrangements.”  I was relieved, but little did I realize that my problems were only just beginning.

*******

Who knows how Hosea might have breached the subject of marriage to Gomer.  You have to take into account the culture, the fact that he was known as a prophet of God, and the fact that she was a loose woman.  Talk about a rebound.  Apparently, she was married before and committed adultery and had children by her other lovers.  The timeline isn’t all that clear.  The storyline is a bit confusing but something strange was going on.

First of all, are you kidding me?  God tells his prophet to go marry an adulterous woman who has children out of wedlock.  Talk about the lowest of the low.  The Pharisees gave Jesus a hard time for letting a prostitute wash his feet with anointing oil just before his death in Jerusalem.  He should have known what kind of woman she was.  Preposterous.  Ridiculous.  God told you to do what?  God would never do that.  I’m certain of it.  Yeah, right.

His reputation is kaput.  His lovelife…..well, let’s leave that alone for the moment.  All we know is that Hosea obeys.  He decides that Gomer fits the bill.  Some people think that she was a loose woman before they got married, had a husband but was divorced for adultery.  Hosea marries her.  Has three kids with crazy names (that’s another story) but then something apparently happens.  Chapter 2.

In the second chapter, God is speaking to Hosea’s children and telling them to rebuke their mother.  She is an adulterer (again) and things get so bad that she ends up in prostitution (meaning that she is owned by her pimp).  Somehow she is tangled up in a web of lies and deceit and unpaid bills.  Hosea saved her from a nasty divorce in the first place which left her on the street where nobody would touch her.  She has three kids and a couple of good years with him.  Then she falls back into her old ways and hits absolute rock bottom – broken, destitute and uncaring.  Her ability to love Hosea was broken to start with but now she is like the prodigal son, living in the filth of despair and manipulation.

But unlike the prodigal son, there is no repentance here.  There is no obvious signs of remorse.  She is not begging him to take her back.  She is a defeated woman who has hit rock bottom.  Her only salvation is her husband, Hosea, who is still her husband and apparently still loves her.

As we enter Chapter 3, we see God taking the initiative and telling Hosea to go and reconcile with his wife again.  Apparently he has to buy her back, pay off her debts, and make it right with her pimp.  And she is expensive for a prostitute.  Fifteen shekles of silver and more than a homer of barley.  Wow.  And Hosea gives her very simple, straightforward directions.  Live with me.  Don’t be a prostitute.  Don’t be intimate with your other lovers.  I will live with you.  This sounds a bit like God’s covenant promise to the people of Israel, “You will be my people and I will be your God.”

In our church last year we put up three banners with those famous three lines that are supposed to summarize our walk with God.  Do no harm.  Do good.  Stay in love with God.  Pretty good stuff actually.  But I have some better ones I would like to put up in our church sanctuary.  Don’t be a prostitute.  Don’t sleep around.  Live with your husband.  I don’t think our board of elders will go for it.

What are you saying, that we are all like adulterous women who have prostituted ourselves to run after other lovers?  Well, no.  I’m not saying that.  God is.  Yes, about you and me. We don’t love Him.  We make it about rules and regulations and obligations and we forget that it is, first and foremost, a relationship.

Pretty harsh stuff don’t you think?  But also pretty realistic if we think about it.  The whole point of what God was doing was to use Hosea and Gomer as a real live demonstration of the relationship between God and Israel, between God and the church, really, ultimately, between God and you and me.  The question is whether or not we will accept such a description.

I have to admit that as I struggle with the Sanctification Gap, I have times I think I’m doing pretty well and times when I truly feel like an adulterous woman who has become a prostitute and is running after other lovers.  It is easy to slip out of that sweet spot of love and fall into the trap of “wanting what we want whenever we want” it.

Maybe we still love Hosea.  We had a few good years, didn’t we?  It was a nice honeymoon.  The early years were heady and wonderful, full of signs and wonders and the parting of the Red Sea and conquering the land but, now, its the same old, same old.  We’ve lost the old fire in the belly.  Like David, we just want to stay home from the wars and indulge the flesh.  After all, we deserve a break now and again.  The seven year itch.  The twelve year crisis.  The fifteen year divorce.  Oh, yes,  we know the drill all too well. 

God is pretty well dead-on with his metaphors.  He is no fool.  He is fighting for the relationship and it starts an honest conversation about the relationship.  He is willing to forgive and reconcile but for our sakes, we cannot just ignore the problem.  The problem isn’t the sin itself.  That is just a symptom.  The problem is how we view the relationship.  That’s what He wants to talk about first.  And the truth is that He is right.  We aren’t very good at loving Him.  In fact, we are exactly like a prostitute who has destroyed her ability to love her husband by selling herself for money or benefits or the “what’s in it for me?” mentality.  We think Hosea married us to give us certain benefits.  We think God is here to help us with our lives, to help us build our kingdoms, to give us eternal life after we die.  But that isn’t the nature of the relationship.  We are here to love Him, to build His Kingdom, to have eternal life right now in a new and wonderful relationship with Him.

Attachment theory tells us that the stronger the attachments a child has when he or she is young, the more they are able to love someone when they are older.  Makes sense.  The opposite is also true.  The more you destroy or manipulate attachments when you are young (or old), the more you are not able to love another.  Again.  Obvious.  But maybe not so obvious to us.

When we do something wrong on purpose and we do it anyway (thinking we will ask for forgiveness later), then (if we are Christians) we feel terrible like we betrayed God.  Which is true.  That’s hard on the relationship and it often leads to despair and more sinning.  But, on the other hand, when we are right with God and things are going good (or at least we think they are), then it is so easy for us to fall into spiritual pride.  After all, we have our shit together.  What’s wrong with you?  But the truth is that whether we wallow in despair or strut in our pride, we are still a bunch of prostitutes whoring after every bauble and trinket that the Devil shows us.  Our capacity to love (just like Gomer) was broken from the beginning and the sooner we recognize that, the sooner we can get on the right path.

So what is the right path?  Really?  We’ve been talking about the way of the cross for thirty three days now.  Yes, that’s the path.  And don’t make the way of the cross into just another obligation with a set of steps and a program of penance and make it all external.  That would miss the point altogether.  It’s about a relationship.  Hosea (God) just wants us to be honest (about ourselves) both in terms of our inability to love Him as well as to acknowledge that we are loved anyway.  There is no condemnation.  We have been bought with a price.  We belong to Hosea (Jesus) now and that’s who we are in our deepest being.  We have a life project that we need to fulfill together with our husband.  We need to be honest and repent when we do wrong but also continue to learn and grow in our desire for Him and in our ability to walk with Him every day.  We have to want the relationship and that means to respect it and work on it.  Just like all marriages.

If we truly accept our identity as being one with our husband, then we must also accept our role as a partner, a lover, a friend who will make every effort to live with our husband and share his projects, his business, his interests, his beliefs and values.  And he will take care of us and work with us and teach us the ways of love.  And we desperately need to learn.  It isn’t just about morality, although morality is important.  It is what is underneath morality, what causes morality that matters.  Morality does not cause relationship but relationship causes morality. 

When theologians talk about the law of God and how we should relate to it (in both the Old and New Testament), they like to talk about autonomy, heteronomy and theonomy.  When someone simply doesn’t accept the law of God at all, they are autonomous.  They are a law unto themselves and go through life doing whatever they want.  When someone accepts the law of God as binding on them, they enter into a state of heteronomy.  The philosopher, Kant, describes it as an “encounter with a law not willingly accepted from the depths of the heart, but resisted like a straitjacket or outwardly adopted like a mask” (Dynamics of Spiritual Life, p. 112).  This can create a kind of “dead goodness” or even open rebellion.  It looks like something that might have happened to Gomer.  She married Hosea and they had some good years but the brokeness in her heart in terms of her ability to love another (as evidenced by her first marriage breakup) was still there and never dealt with.

That dead heart, which was not able to love, needed to be made alive again in Jesus Christ.  When we are justified before God with the righteousness of Christ, our hearts have not yet been changed.  We are made righteous in almost a legal way.  But that does allow God to give us the Holy Spirit who would normally not be able to live continually in our hearts because of our sin.  At that moment of regeneration, our hearts of stone are made into hearts of flesh and we are given the three spiritual virtues of faith, hope and love.  But that doesn’t mean that our lives are perfect in love yet.  In the process of sanctification, we discover our hearts of flesh and the presence of faith, hope and love and we start to learn to walk in the Spirit.  We are broken people, made righteous, regenerated with new hearts of flesh that actually believe (faith), actually expect positive change (hope) and actually wants the relationship (love).  Even we are surprised that it is there in our hearts, a gift from God.  We are broken people who have been healed but now need to go through a physiotherapy process to make that healing complete.

When that brokeness and inability to love is healed and we are given a heart of flesh and not of stone, then our response to the law of God (to his direction, guidance, correction and rebuke) becomes theonomous.  It is understood to be coming from our lover, our husband, the one with whom we are one, the one who bought us, who reconciled with us, gave us a second, and a third, and a fourth chance, the one who loves us enough to die on the cross in order to have a new relationship with us, the one who calls us brother, friend, lover.  It is relational.  It isn’t about obligations, it’s about learning to love again and letting our lover teach us the way.  It is about surrender.  Not in an unhealthy way but rather in a healthy way.  With humans you have to be careful because we are all sinners but with God, through Christ, we can take the risk of one hundred percent surrender to his will, to his guidance, to his law, to his ways.

If we do not break through to this relational heart of flesh (rather than stone), we will be “trapped in patterns of dead conformity or angry resistance” (p.112).  Funny thing.  This is just as true in human relationships as it is with God.  You don’t even want to see the statistics of people who are trapped in bad marriages because of social pressure or for the sake of the kids.  Or, on the other hand, where one or the other partner breaks out with angry resistance to the deadness of the relationship with adultery and affairs or pornography.  God knows his metaphors.  It really isn’t rocket science.

To change the metaphor from the woman to the man (just so the men don’t feel left out), Professor Lovelace, in his book Dynamics of Spiritual Life, describes it like this.  “The typical relationship between believers and the Holy Spirit in today’s church is too often like that between the husband and wife in a bad marriage.  They live under the same roof, and the husband makes constant use of his wife’s services, but he fails to communicate with her, recognice her presence and celebrate their relationship with her” (p. 131).

When you reduce the law of God to a bunch of do’s and don’t’s, you miss the point entirely.  You are supposed to be like David, a man after God’s own heart, who said, “I love the law of God.  I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you.  Open my eyes that I might see wonderful things in your law.  I delight in your decrees; I will not neglect your word” (Psalm 119).  That does not mean that David would not sin because he did and grievously,  What it means is that God would reconcile with him because he knew David’s heart.  They had a relationship.

David truly worked at the relationship.  He knew he had a lot to learn about God and His ways.  He knew that to love God meant to let God be God.  Let Him lead.  Let Him direct.  We must respond.  We must follow.  He is holy in righteousness and wonderous in might.  We are sinners, prostitutes who have been forgiven, who have been given new identities, new soft hearts of flesh rather than stone, but who still have a lot to learn.

The moment we reduce our obedience to obligation, we have taken away the dynamic of love.  That is why we call it “loving obedience.”  Jesus was clear.  “If you love me you will obey my commandments” (John 14:15).  Obedience is necessary.  Because of who He is and who we are.  But it is always the obedience of love.

We think of God as holy and perfect and the first thing we think of is that He never makes a mistake, he does all things well, He is high and lifted up.  But we don’t think of His holiness as perfect love which is reflected in His law (and the rest of the Word of God).  He is perfect in love and all perfection is the perfection of love.  The love between the Father, Son and Holy Spirit is perfect love and is the source of His holiness.

We need to understand the character of God.  There is no argument with the fact that God is just.  Absolutely just.  You can’t turn him from His justice with a bribe or a sentimental argument.  You can’t set aside His justice in the name of love.  We don’t allow it in earthly judges, so we know that our heavenly judge will be absolutely correct in every way with regards to His justice.  Justice is an act of love for the victim.  God is the victim of our rebellion but so are lots of other people we interact with everyday.  We often think of God’s justice from the point of view of the offender but what about the one who was offended.  Should they not claim for perfect love in the form of justice from God.  Fairness.  No corruption.  Love.

The problem is that it makes us tremble to think of it.  Not because we don’t expect Him to be true to His unyielding character of love.  What else do you expect?  But because we know that we could never stand before Him and make any kind of argument in our defence.  We are lost and we know it.  That is the holiness of God.  But it is only one side of His holiness.  One side of His love.  Because He loves both the offended and the offender.  There is more to be said.

The other side,  the side that is patient, that is longsuffering, that is able to find a way, to make a way, that side of God is also His holiness.  That is also love.  God’s justice is rooted in his love but expressed in his might and power.  He knows all things.  He is everywhere present.  He is absolutely good.  He knows the truth of every accusation, every rebellion, every intention of the heart.  He is the only One who can be the Judge of all mankind.  He is the only One who knows what is good or bad (a discernment rooted in love).  He is the only one capable of being the Judge and enforcing His law of love on all powers and beings, both human and demonic.

But all of the power and might of the God of Heaven cannot solve the problem of sin.  All of the power of God that created the heavens and the earth, the stars and the hosts of heaven, the creative power of God that can explode megatonnes of nuclear fusion in the stars cannot change the heart of man through his power and might.  It is impossible.  The nature of love is such that it cannot be forced only enticed, only wooed, only seduced and, even then, only after the justice of God has been satisfied.  It is only the love of God in self-sacrifice upon the cross of calvary, the Son of the Living God worth more than all humans put together and his three days in hell worth eons of hellish living by all the rest of us, that made it possible for the justice of God to be satisfied with a substitute who was worth more than a million earths full of stubborn prostitutes who have rejected the love of their Creator.

That love that fulfilled the justice of God, calls forth your love.  It gives you a new identity, a new heart, a new purpose, and significance.  A new meaning in life.  And it calls you to live in it.  Embrace it.  Talk about it.  Remind yourself of the fact that holiness is a call to the perfection of love and that every law, every rule, every guidance and training and effort is a step down the path of love, the way of the cross.  If you remember anything this Lenten season, remember that you are a prostitute learning to love again.  Of course it will be hard, but he loves you and he will help you do it.  After all, he bought you with a price.  His own life.  What woman can say that of her husband?  You can.

The Desert Warrior

P.S.  Let’s pray to God…..

Lord, how easy it is for me to forget the love you have shown me.  I love you, help me to love you more.  I am a prostitute, bought with a price, and I now belong to you.  Teach me the ways of love.  For you and for others.  That is the holiness you ask of me.  Thank you.  In Jesus name I pray.  Amen.

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Seeking Jerusalem – Day 25 “The Culture of Grace”

09 Friday Mar 2018

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Temptations2The Way of the Cross – Lenten Season 2018

“But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions – it is by grace you have been saved.  And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus.  For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast.  For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do” (Ephesians 2:4-10 NIV).

The Culture of Grace

I heard a Vicar (Pastor) from the Anglican church tell a story recently about his encounters with a young man off the streets that we will call, Paul.  The vicar’s wife, who was a good judge of character, agreed that they should help the young man and so they put him up for a few days until they could find a more permanent place for him.  He ended up staying for a number of months and became a part of the family.  When the Vicar and his wife went on a short vacation, they left Paul in charge.  Paul invited another friend from the streets over who ended up stealing the wife’s jewelry (hierlooms from her mother with more sentimental value than anything else).  Paul claimed he was innocent but he still shouldn’t have invited his friend over when no one else was at home.  A lapse in judgment.

Paul was asked to move out but the Vicar and his wife decided to put him up in a small cottage that they owned and he stayed there for over a year but never paid his rent (although he had gotten a job).  Thousands of pounds were lost but, more importantly, the relationship was suffering great abuse.  Finally, they had to evict him (messy and loud and embarrassing with police involvement) and he disappeared for a while.

Some time later, Paul contacted them again, desperate to find a place to stay.  He was now married and his wife was pregnant but they were living in a car and had no place to go.  The Vicar and his wife were learning the lessons of forgiveness, over and over again.  They decided to help him one last time and allowed him to move back into the cottage.  He finally settled down into a job and was able to sustain his wife and new baby and pay the rent as well.  All is well that ends well.

But I have to say that I am shocked.  I am not sure I would have let this homeless man stay in my spare bedroom in the first place.  And after having stole from me, he would have been escorted off of the premises immediately and told never to come back.  And then to let him NOT pay rent for a year or more, and then give him the house back when he just made some woman pregnant, well, that’s going too far.  I mean…..what does Jesus expect us to do.  The story turned out more or less alright but these people could have been murdered in their sleep.

You see, this isn’t just a story of forgiveness, over and over again.  It is a story of grace.  You and I are like Paul and the Vicar and his wife are like God.  We screw up over and over again, coming back and asking for help but ready to take advantage, steal the family jewels, take what we want, all at a moment’s notice and we do it over and over again.  The wonder of it all is the grace that is shown to us anyway.  Just like in church.

That grace is the context for forgiveness.  That grace is relational.  Why did the Vicar and his wife have that grace for Paul even though he sinned against them over and over again?  First of all, because they were being obedient to God and were willing to share the grace that they themselves had received.  But I believe that it also has to do with the fact that for months Paul lived with them, they got to know him, he became part of the family, they had a relationship, and a relationship is always about grace.  Accepting people for who they are and helping them to become all they can be.  Like children.  Like brothers and sisters.  Like family.

Grace is the context of forgiveness.  And confession.  And repentance.  And reconciliation.

The question is whether or not the church has a culture of grace or a culture of shame, rooted in judgment and accusation and unfullfilled expectations.  Sad to say, most are rooted in shame, and grace only shows up by accident once in a while.

Shame based relationships and families (and even churches and organizations) are far more common than we like to admit.  And it is devastating for the gospel.  It is not healthy and reflects a misunderstanding of what ministry is all about.  When it is prevalent in the church, it brings about spiritual abuse and the abuse of power by the leadership.

There are some common characteristics of shame based systems such as actual words spoken to shame people (Something is wrong with you.  You aren’t a very good Christian.  Why can’t you be more like….).  Exclusion (rather than inclusion) from groups and/or leadership based on whether someone likes you, or trusts you, or agrees with your take on some particular doctrine.  Unspoken rules and special code language to govern proper behavior which only those in the know are aware of (the rest have to guess).  Politics is the name of the game.  Rules are more important than people.  Positions are more important than spiritual gifts.  Everything is good and great (How was your day?  Good.  How have you been?  Great.).

Board members are told to keep everything confidential and not talk about anything from a Board meeting with anybody else in the church.  Not just relational issues, everything.  Don’t talk about the future of the church.  Don’t talk about new ideas or a better way of doing something.  Just don’t talk.  In churches, as in all relationships, communication is key.  The lack of communication is just an attempt to control the relationship, the people, the church.

But the biggest one is a preoccupation with fault and blame (which is very different from confession of sin in the context of grace).  Once you find out who is to blame, that person can be shamed into not doing that behaviour again.

All of this is a serious misunderstanding of the gospel and yet it is so common that we get used to it and hardly blink an eye when we become part of that system of shame.  This is spiritual warfare and it must be resisted and changed into a culture of grace through preaching, testimony, application in real life and a lot of prayer.

This change is the major work of ministry of the Pastor and the leaders of the church and it must start with them.  If there is no culture of grace at the leadership level, the church will never make the transition and will always tend to fall back into the culture of shame as their default position.

Strange, isn’t it?  That we who are the redeemed of the Lord, would fall into the trap of believing that our love and acceptance by God (and others) was somehow earned on the basis of our behaviour and performance?  It is pure legalism and moralism.  It has nothing to do with the gospel.  Tomorrow we will go into more detail about the relationship between justification and sanctification and getting that right, but, for now, we need to recognize our spiritual blindness to the ways of God especially at the leadership level.

Think about it for a moment.  Even when we were first saved, what came first, the confession of sin and repentance or the grace of God that offered forgiveness?  Be careful.  It isn’t a trick question but it also isn’t so obvious as you might think.  Many people will say (and rightly so) that forgiveness comes AFTER we confess and repent.  But that is only half true.  The grace of God has to penetrate into our lives and first of all convict us of our guilt with regards to sin (which is the work of the Holy Spirit) but with that conviction comes the offer of grace at the same time.  If we did not believe that forgiveness was a possibility, why would we confess?  We may still feel guilty but we wouldn’t say anything about it to anybody.

Confession is only possible if there is conviction of sin and an offer of grace.

I have to believe that forgiveness is possible because of the cross of Christ and that a new relationship with God has been offered to me.  In order to appropriate that offer of grace, I must believe in my heart and confess with my mouth but it starts with the context of grace.

This is as true in discipleship as it is in evangelism.  Without a context of grace, why would anyone confess their sins.  Nobody is interested in getting shamed, being humiliated, being blamed.  We do that to ourselves enough already.  But for some reason, many churches have a grace-based concept of evangelism but a performance-based concept of sanctification.  Some have elevated this to the level of a “theology of holiness” that is simply a misunderstanding of the gospel (in my opinion).  In that kind of theological system, you can even lose your salvation if your performance or your conscious sin is of a certain type.  My heart breaks for the people who submit themselves to that kind of church leadership.

Culture trumps strategy every time.  It doesn’t matter what programs, what strategies, what preaching topics you choose if your church culture is not a culture of grace.  And that doesn’t just mean a “No Condemnation” culture where sin is ignored.  It means a “Way of the Cross” culture where sin is confessed, repented of, forgiven and true reconciliation accomplished bringing with it a deep spiritual unity that ushers in the anointing of God on the entire ministry of the church.

A final word on the first step on the Way of the Cross.  Confession.  It isn’t just a confession of sins.  It is also a confession of faith.  They are two sides of the same coin.  If you do not have a confession of faith in the grace shown through Christ to you, personally, so that you believe and trust in what is offered – a new relationship in Christ, then why in the world would you confess your sins?

The confession of faith is rooted in grace and the confession of sin is rooted in grace.  It is all grace.  Grace expects honesty.  Grace (undeserved favor) expects repentance and a change in direction.  Love always does.  Love wants love in return.  And to love God in return means to start with being honest (like all relationships) and continue with real change (like all relationships).  Why are we surprised?  Why do we make this into something esoteric and other-worldly?  It’s just love and we understand the basics of love, don’t we?

But in the context of our relationship with God, we have our flesh (old ways of thinking, acting, believing without God) and the flesh of others (often systematized into rules and policies even in the church) that the Bible calls the “world.”  And don’t forget the Devil and his “schemes” that works very hard indeed to keep us blind to these fundamental truths.

Above all things, he will try to keep the leadership of the church bound up in chains of shame and guilt and fear because if they ever get it figured out and start to risk the dangers of putting it into practice, the Lord will bless them with a culture of grace that will release the power of forgiveness and reconciliation in such a way as to entirely transform the church into a powerhouse of signs and miracles and transformed lives.

And that, the Devil cannot allow to happen even though all the resources of heaven are at our disposal to make it happen.  The difference is that the Devil can prey on our weaknesses whereas leaders must pray in our weaknesses for God’s strength.  The first is easy and automatic.  The second takes effort and training and collaboration and prayer and spiritual battle.  There is no other way than the Way of the Cross.  Jesus showed us the Way in the Garden of Gethsemane.  He chose obedience over fellowship and we must do the same.

The Desert Warrior

P.S.  Let’s talk to God…..

Lord, I have to admit that I have some of these elements of a shame based upbringing still in my system.  I know it affects my walk with you and my involvement in the church.  Cleanse me, O Lord and make me whole.  Help me to create a culture of grace so that we can confess our sins with one another without fear of shame and humiliation.  Lord, I choose to obey you and follow you no matter where you lead.  I want to seek Jerusalem and find that spiritual unity that you promised us and so receive your anointing.  In Jesus name I pray.  Amen.

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Seeking Jerusalem – Day 22 “The Courage of Confession”

07 Wednesday Mar 2018

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Temptations2The Way of the Cross – Lenten Season 2018

“If you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.  For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved” (Romans 10:9,10 NIV).

“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for ech other so that you may be healed.  The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective” (James 5:16 NIV).

The Courage of Confession

We gave it a try.  We really did.

The new Pastor asked everyone to get together for a meeting and we all came.  I brought my wife and daughter (since they were also involved) and the Pastor brought the elder who had offended.  The Pastor was a believer in the power of reconciliation and apparently had convinced the elder to show up. One of the other elders had given the Pastor our names as people the Board needed to reconcile with.  When we had stood up for Scottie, a street evangelist who was thrown out of the church for making people feel uncomfortable and always asking for money, we got thrown out as well.

So we all showed up, all of us believers, all of us excited about the prospect of true reconciliation.  Everyone except for Scottie.  They never did get around to him.  They should have started with him.  The ministry of reconciliation is spiritual warfare and we were terribly unprepared.

It was like pulling teeth.  We apologized for anything we could think of but the truth was that this elder but also the whole Board (who wasn’t there) were in the wrong.  But he couldn’t admit it.  He was spiritually blind to his sin.

In some ways, it wasn’t his fault.  He had no training in church discipline really and he didn’t know that it should always be done in the context of discipleship.  He thought that as a leader he had a right and an obligation to get rid of people who were a problem or a danger to the rest of the church.  Not true.  But very common thinking among leaders in churches.  The goal is reconciliation.  Always and in every situation.

Even the Pastor agreed with him for a while until I explained that the context of discipleship and reconciliation was missing.  Then he reluctantly agreed with me but the elder stayed true to his justification and the rationalization of his actions and never confessed that what he had done was not pleasing to God.

I mostly let my wife and daughter talk since they needed the reconciliation as bad as I did.  We were all kicked out as a family.  At one point, the elder tried to say that he had not threatened to call the police on Scottie and my daughter stood up and rebuked him for his lies.  “We were all there,” she said.  “We saw it with our own eyes and we heard what you said in front of everyone.”  It was beautiful.  A thirteen-year-old rebuking an elder of the church for lying to cover up his sin.  He had to admit the truth, but he did so reluctantly.  He was beginning to realize that coming to this meeting was not what he had expected.  His hard heart was being exposed because he refused to expose it in humility on his own.  That is what confession means.

He finally admitted that with us (he didn’t mention Scottie) he should have tried harder to find a solution that didn’t involve kicking us out of church.  So I stood up and gave him a hug and told him that we forgave him (again).  One of the other elders had also arrived and we gave hugs all around.  Some tears were shed.  It was a beautiful moment.

Or was it?  Was there true reconciliation?  Did my wife and daughter go home cleansed and renewed by the Holy Spirit?  Was the cross at the centre of this encounter?  You might say that we accomplished a lot just by having the meeting (and that might be true) but to pretend that it was reconciliation is just plain naive.  The relational consequences of that night broke my relationship with the Pastor and, ultimately, the Pastor’s contract with the church was not renewed.  Was it because of this meeting, this insistence on reconciliation (but done badly without previous spiritual work, without an awareness of the spiritual warfare involved)?  Probably.  I’m not sure.  But I am sure that it didn’t help.  Why?  Let’s talk about that….

Yesterday we talked about the True Confessions of a Disciple.  This is not easy work.  It is the work of the Holy Spirit in convicting the world of guilt with regards to sin.  Here is a quote from yesterday…

And don’t think that this is a light issue.  This is where the battle is the fiercest, where Satan spends most of his time distracting the church and giving them other battles to fight, other issues to deal with.  This is where the Holy Spirit focuses all of his power and effort to bring sinners to the foot of the cross in brokenness and repentance.

But the truth is that nobody talks about sin much anymore.  We have been forgiven.  There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.  Sin gets relegated to the background.  We think it is spiritual to just love people and “cover over a multitude of sins” (which is a total misunderstanding of that verse in James 5:20).  For some reason we seem to think that God just set aside his justice in the name of love.  If it was that easy, we wouldn’t need the cross.  But we do it all the time.  In the name of love, justice doesn’t matter, sin doesn’t matter.  Just be nice.  If you are nice and don’t take offence then there is no problem.  Not true. 

How many people in the church (Pastors included) think that being nice or being moral or being professional is the same thing as being spiritual.  Spirituality is more than those things (even if it is not less).  Jesus said that we needed more than the righteousness of the Pharisees, but he did NOT set aside the law of God……rather he fulfilled it.  Let’s be clear.  Love does not set aside the law but fulfills it.  That is why sin cannot be ignored it must be dealt with.  And dealt with in a very specific way that God has laid out for us in the Word and is rooted in the cross of Christ.

Here is another quote from yesterday’s blog post….

Confession is about looking reality square in the face and calling things what they truly are, no excuses, no justifications, no rationalization.  Sin is what it is.  Rebellion, self-authority, selfishness, disinterest, ignoring a relationship that cannot be ignored.  If we are not convicted of our guilt with regards to sin and rebellion before God (which is a gift of the Holy Spirit), we cannot be forgiven.

The elder finally admitted that his process wasn’t perfect and that he should have tried to find ways to solve the problem without kicking us out of the church.  But would he give up his right and responsibility as a leader to throw people out of the church if he saw them as a problem that would affect the rest of the church?  No.  That is a fundamental responsability of leadership, isn’t it?  To make the hard decisions, to do what is best for the majority, to defend the church against problem people?  No, it’s not.  We do not defend the church.  We defend the gospel and in defending the gospel, we defend the church.  Otherwise it is called Spiritual Abuse or just plain abuse of authority.  Nothing more and nothing less.  And there is a lot of it going around.

This elder (or the Pastor) would never see themselves as capable of Spiritual Abuse.  They are nice people.  They mean well.  They are well-intentioned (mostly).  They love the Lord.  Yes.  True.  But that’s not enough.  Your righteousness needs to be more than what the Pharisees offer, Jesus said (Matthew 5:20).  Many of them were nice, too.  Nicodemus, Joseph of Arimathea, Gamaliel (and his father and grandfather) were all pillars of the community, truly interested in the welfare of the people, and totally in the wrong.  Jesus called it Spiritual Blindness and rebuked them for being the blind who lead the blind.  He was the fiercest with the Pharisees because their “leven” was the most poisonous to the people.  It kept them from embracing the Kingdom of God which has an entirely different approach altogether to sin.

You would think our elders and leaders (and Pastors) would know that.  Many do not.  Many can preach it but get confused when they try to implement it in conflict situations.  Even among Pastors but especially among elders and other lay leaders, there simply is no training on these things.  How can that be? 

Isn’t the ministry of reconciliation the heart of the gospel?  Yes, it is but we tend to think of it only in terms of evangelism and not in terms of discipleship.  It’s hard after all.  The trick is to create a spiritual culture that understands the power and priority of the ministry of reconciliation.  But expect opposition because the Devil will not let you go there without a fight.

We will talk more about these dynamics over the next few days, about what true reconciliation looks like and how forgiveness leads to reconciliation (but isn’t the same thing at all), and how powerful a spiritual community rooted in true reconciled unity can be in evangelism and discipleship and transformed lives.  It is glorious (as it should be).

But for now, we will talk about the courage of confession.  It isn’t easy.  For any of us.  In the flesh, without walking in the Spirit daily, without sacrifice, without focus, without understanding the Way of the Cross, we just won’t do it.

Even more so for a leader who still has quite worldly ideas about what leadership means in the church.  But don’t feel bad.  You are in good company.

James, the brother of John, was always playing the power angle.  He wanted to get the best seats beside Jesus (with his brother on the other side) even on the night of the Lord’s Supper.  He wasn’t the only one, mind you, but he was kind of obvious.  Remember that he got to drink from the same cup that Jesus drank from and was one of the first martyrs in the early church (Acts 12:2), never a leader of the church but always the leader, one of the first, in martyrdom.  Strange how things worked out.

James, the brother of Jesus, (often called “camel knees” for his long periods of prayer on his knees), became the leader of the Jerusalem church (Acts 12:17 et al), wrote the epistle of James (James 1:1) and witnessed the resurrection of Jesus even before the others (according to Paul in I Corinthians 15:7 although the timeline is unclear).  The Bible tells us that the brothers of Jesus (children of Joseph and Mary, Matthew 13:55,56) did not believe he was the Messiah or Divine (John 7:5) and yet, Jesus appeared to James in a special way to convince him of the truth and prepare him for leadership.  His humility became legendary (especially after and because of denying his brother throughout most of his life).  There is a wonderful story of grace in there somewhere.

So you have James, the brother of John, interested in power at the right hand of Jesus but instead was given the grace of early martyrdom and you have James, the brother of Jesus, not able to accept that his brother is anything more than what he appears to be, blind to his divinity, blind to his messiahship, even though he spent years at his side, more so than even the disciples.  And he is given the grace of leadership (although tradition says that he was also martyred later on).

If you let him, the Holy Spirit will burn those worldly ideas of leadership out of you in the cauldron of confession and repentance.  But if we have a church culture where we deny the reality of sin and it’s ability still to derail us on the way of the cross, then there is no hope for us.

We avoid it like the plague.  We even think it is spiritual to just skip the hard part and go straight to the love part.  How many times have I heard people say that they don’t want to get into it, they don’t want to dredge things up again, they don’t want to talk about what happened, he said, she said…..and they are right but they are also wrong.

If you’re going to dredge it all up but not deal with it properly, then don’t bother.  But in order to deal with it properly, you must dredge it all up and talk about the behaviour (with good intentions or not) that is not pleasing to God.  And do it with grace.  The Bible is rather clear about most of it and if there is a real difference of opinion (not just ignorance of the Word), then Paul tells us what to do about that too.  It’s not a mystery.  The problem is that we are not Bereans (Acts 17:11), we don’t dig into the Word of God and discuss what it says and pray and think and talk together to clarify what is pleasing to God and what is not.  We all just think we have a right to our own opinion and that’s the end of it.  Very post-modern of us, don’t you think?

Do you want to know the real reason why nobody wants to drag up old sins and talk about them?  It isn’t because they are so spiritual (since they are skipping the first and most essential step in the way of the cross) but because they are so lacking in understanding of the ways of God.  They don’t understand sin.  They don’t have a cross focus.  They aren’t committed to the Way of the Cross.  You don’t believe me?  Let’s take a closer look….

Is there any question that people are reluctant to talk about sin?  No.  Is there any question that many leaders believe and teach that we should just go straight to forgiveness.  No, that’s true too. 

Did Jesus not say, if someone sins against you, you should talk to them and if they won’t listen, bring someone with you as a witness?  Do we do that?  No.

Is it not true that James tells us to confess our sins one to another?  Yes, it’s true.  Do we do it?  Not very often.  Why?  Because it’s scary and very often our confession will be used against us rather than for us.  There is no context of grace but rather a culture of shame.

To this day, most leaders believe that if another leader sins publicly, he must be removed from office.  He loses his position of leadership, his career, his income, probably his wife or family.  Why in the world would anybody do something so foolish?

Yes, they should not have sinned publicly (or privately) in the first place and there is obviously a spiritual issue (or weakness or warfare) going on in the background that needs to be looked at.  But we treat it like a disease, thinking it needs to be cut off before it affects the rest of the church.  Again, we miss the entire point of the ministry of reconciliation.  It isn’t just about NOT sinning.  Yes, we need to make every effort not to sin.  Obviously.  But our lack of grace and our commitment to a shame-based culture makes sinning even more likely, not less likely.  It isn’t first and foremost about whether or not we sin but rather what we do about it when we sin.  The mark of a true leader is not in his clean, perfect, professional lifestyle but in his humility before the Cross (Paul, David, Moses, Elijah).

Our church culture is most often based on shame and not grace and that’s the truth of it.  Very few churches get this right and that is why we have the form of religion but lack the power of it.

If we go deeper, we can see that there is a fundamental misunderstanding of the relationship between justification (Jesus is my Saviour) and sanctification (Jesus is my Lord) and this has led to all kinds of problems in the church.  Satan isn’t stupid.  He’s done a good job of obscuring the main issues of the faith.  The question is whether or not we are aware of his schemes (II Corinthians 2:11).

Let me say this as clearly as I can…..no, wait.  I’ll let John say it instead…..

“If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives.

My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin.

But if anybody does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense – Jesus Christ, the Righteous One.  He is the atoning sacrifice for our sins, and not only for ours but also for the sins of the whole world” (I John 1: 8-2:2 NIV).

Last time I checked, the word “anybody” also applies to leaders and pastors.

Statistics show (from anonymous surveys), that most pastors have committed sins privately that they have never confessed publicly and it is eating them alive.

Statistics show that a majority of pastors and church leaders (mostly among the men) are ensnared in pornography even while preaching the power of the gospel on Sunday morning and they are getting used to it.

Statistics show that a majority of pastors and church leaders have a private life that they are ashamed of but are afraid to talk to anyone about.

This is the truth.  John says, “If we claim to be without sin…” which we do everytime we go to a Board meeting or preach on Sunday morning pretending that we are right with God when it is a lie…..”we decieve ourselves and the truth is not in us.”  And if we are confronted with this truth and we deny it, what are we saying.  John makes it clear.  “If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word has no place in our lives.”  We are calling God a liar.  John seems to think that sin and dealing with sin through the power of the cross is pretty normal stuff.  It is the work of every day ministry.

You say, “But God has blessed my ministry.  People have been born again.  Lives have been transformed.”  I don’t doubt it.  One of the most troubling verses in the Bible for leaders is Matthew 7:21-23.

“Not everyone who says to me, “Lord, Lord,” will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.  Many will say to me on that day, “Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and in your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?”  Then I will tell them plainly, “I never knew you.   Away from me, you evildoers!”

I never want to hear those words from the Lord.  We all assume that we will hear the other words, “Well done good and faithful servant!….Come and share your master’s happiness!” (Matthew 25:21 NIV).  But is it true?  How do we know beforehand which one it will be?

For myself, I am confused.  I have not prophesied in his name (unless you consider preaching a form of prophesy, which I do).  I have not cast out demons or done miracles in his name.  My ministry is rather dull and pedantic.  This kind of ministry is wonderful, exciting, dynamic.  No wonder people are being saved and lives are being changed.  I can only envy those who have that kind of leadership in their ministry.  They are no doubt charismatic, relational, dynamic.  Wonderful speakers and deep thinkers “who correctly handle the Word of Truth” (II Timothy 2: 15b NIV).

In my case, my own passion and enthusiasm got me into a lot of trouble.  I tend to say what I think and I had no classes on politics when I was in seminary.  My marital problems, my intimacy issues, my own weaknesses and pride and arrogance and the church culture I grew up in could not be talked about much less confessed.  I left the church, then my wife left me and then I left God (or tried to).  It was a downward spiral from the heights of my leadership position to the depths of my sin.  It was a long time before I realized that this was God’s severe mercy.  His agenda is always eternal.  His goals are to create in me a clean heart and to make me into the image of His Son, no matter the cost (to me, my reputation, my family).  But I had to be willing to walk the way of the cross and for a long time I wasn’t.

I had a Bachelor’s degree in Religious Education, a Master’s degree in Theology from a top Seminary.  I won one of two scholarships for a second Master’s degree in Old Testament Theology (which I never finished) and was preparing myself to go to Sheffield University in England to study for my PhD in the Old Testament as Literature.  My future was assured.  The other guy that won the other scholarship in New Testament studies ended up as a Professor at that same prestigious Seminary in the States.  Well-thought of by his peers, contributing to the Kingdom of God as a Professor, a leader in his local church.  I decided to forego the ivory tower in search of a more practical, hands-on experience of the transforming work of God.  I was not satisfied with the way things were going and wanted to get my hands dirty.  I didn’t realize that I was about to be thrown face first into the filth of the pigstye of church work and church culture.  I’m sure you don’t see it that way, good for you.  It isn’t an accusation so much as a description.  That’s where the work is done.  Call it “the desert if that sounds better to your ears.

In all of my studies, they never prepared me for the real world of church work among people and leaders who did not have a culture of confession, repentance, forgiveness and reconciliation.  Bible College (and even Seminary) tended to pull the best and the brightest from each church and put them together in one place.  The joy and fellowship we shared was fantastic.  The ministry we did together and did to each other was deep and meaningful.  Yes, there were issues and problems but they were generally dealt with through confession of sins, the faithwalk of repentance, the power of forgiveness and the ministry of reconciliation.  It was wonderful.  Then I became the Pastor of a local church in our denomination.

It wasn’t all their fault, of course.  I had my issues to deal with (as do we all).  The point is that the church is entirely unprepared to deal with the reality of sin especially among leaders and I was naive enough to try to explain it to them and use myself as an example.  You can imagine what happened next….

Yes, I envy those leaders who seem to have no problems, that don’t have sins to confess, that never fall to temptation, that never create a mess of their own making while being leaders of the church…….just like in the Bible…..leaders like Moses and David and Elijah and Paul…..squeaky clean…..never made a mistake……leaders to look up to…..oh, wait….those are the wrong guys to pick. 

Moses was a murderer.  He couldn’t even speak properly.  He wouldn’t get past his background check.  Forget about him…

David looks good.  He would no doubt be a great leader… until the affair with his secretary, Bathsheba, and the death of their son happens……then on top of it all, this guy gets his secretary’s husband killed by playing with the brakes on the family car so to speak and creating an accident.  Nobody’s fault.  Things happen. (I know of a Pastor who had an affair with his secretary and when the husband found out, he hung himself in the garage and they found him there with a note saying he could not face the shame of it all.  Try to live with that for the rest of your life…).

Or Elijah, the powerful prophet of God who could bring down fire from heaven and destroy those who would stand against God.  His preaching was powerful.  He could cast out demons.  He could do miracles.  People’s lives were changed.  The entire direction of the church or denomination could be affected by this one man.  But for some reason, he was also a coward.  He ran, weak-kneed from the fight when it got to it’s fiercest.  And he complained about it bitterly, depressed and alone, cutting himself off from the rest, isolating himself and not sharing the weak side of his ministry.

And Paul, well, what is there to say?  Just a few months ago, he had the police pick up one of the elders and dragged him downtown in front of a judge for some trumped up charge or other…..all very embarassing.  I’ve heard that some of those guys never showed up again…..they just disappeared into the system…..sometimes with their entire families.  Nobody knows for sure but they say he had them killed….and you say that he’s applying for a job as a missionary pastor with our church?  Are you kidding?

In the case of some of those leaders who preach, cast our demons and do miracles, God will say “I never knew you.”  To others, like Moses, David and Elijah (much less Paul), they are considered the heroes of the faith (Hebrews 11).  What’s the difference?  What is the difference between David and Saul?  Between Peter and Judas?  Between those who do ministry but do not walk with God and those who walk with God as their fundamental life ministry even if it costs them their church ministry, their leadership, their marriages, their families.

They may be unwilling at first, but, like David, when they are rebuked in their sin, they fall to their knees in repentance and faith and walk the way of the cross.

Your church ministry must always be rooted in your life ministry and walk with God.  If it isn’t, then God in his severe mercy may bring situations about that will face you with your sin and the moment of truth will arrive and you will have to make a decision of whether you will save your soul or your career, your relationship with God or your relationship with the people.  You may be crucified for it.  Welcome to the club.

For this elder, it was a thirteen year old girl who rebuked him for his lies and the hardness of his heart.  For Pete’s sake, how do you justify throwing someone out of the church for asking for money and then throw out the family that stands up for him (whether they did it in the right way or not)?  But he couldn’t see it.  He needed his Pastor to help him to see his sin, and call it sin.  But that didn’t happen either.  Otherwise, the sin cannot be dealt with at the foot of the cross and there is no true reconciliation.  That is the courage of confession.

The Desert Warrior

P.S.  Let’s pray to God….

Lord, my own spiritual blindness scares me.  How do I make sure that I don’t fall into that trap?  I don’t ever want to hear those horrible words from you, “I never knew you.”  I want to be like Paul and declare that all my degrees and studies and positions of leadership and ministry goals and successes are all garbage and don’t mean a thing to me if I can’t have you.  Your path is much harder, much more dangerous, but also glorious.  I want to walk your path with you, Lord.  Help me to do it everyday.  In your name I pray.  Amen.

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Seeking Jerusalem – Day 3 “The Rebuke”

16 Friday Feb 2018

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Temptations2The Way of the Cross – Lenten Season 2018

“He spoke plainly about this (his suffering and death in Jerusalem), and Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him.  But when Jesus turned and looked at his disciples, he rebuked Peter.  “Get behind me, Satan!” he said.  “You do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men” (Mark 8:32,33 NIV).

The Rebuke

Just when Peter is on a roll, he puts his foot in it.  Badly.  What in the world is he thinking?  Is he really “rebuking” Jesus?

He had just given his wonderful confession of faith against all odds, against the theology of the scribes and pharisees, against public opinion.  Jesus is the Messiah and he is the Son of the Living God.  That was his confession.  He is not to be manipulated, nor forced to be King.  He will find his own way, set his own agenda.  He will lead and I will follow.  And all of the other disciples (except for Judas) felt the same way apparently.

So Jesus tells them his agenda.  He will be a suffering servant, a lamb led to the slaughter and therefore he will go to Jerusalem, confront the forces of darkeness, suffer, be killed and will rise again in three days.  Who’s with me?  Let us seek Jerusalem together.

And the first thing that Peter does is take Jesus aside and rebuke him.  He does it quietly, out of earshot of the other disciples, but they know what’s going on.  They feel the same way, no doubt.  This is crazy talk.  Jesus wanted to walk into the lion’s den as if the lions were not hungry for his blood.  Worse, he was saying that he would be killed.  He wasn’t even promising a “Daniel event,” where God would keep him alive by closing the mouths of the lions.  He was going to get eaten alive.  And they might not survive either.

Let’s put this all in context a bit, shall we?  Peter rebukes Jesus.  Nowhere else in all of scripture does this happen.  No one rebukes Jesus, ever.  To be rebuked is serious stuff in the Bible.  In I Timothy 5:20 we are told that “those who sin are to be rebuked publicly…” and in Luke 17:3, Jesus himself says “if your brother sins, rebuke him…”  A rebuke is an important part of our walk with God and the Word of God, itself, is necessary for “rebuking, correcting and training” (II Timothy 3:16).

Peter wasn’t just telling Jesus that he disagreed with his decision to go to Jerusalem (which was bad enough given his recent confession that Jesus was divine).  He was telling Jesus in no uncertain terms that he was in the wrong, that he was going against God’s will, that he was “sinning” and needed correction.  Really!?  No one ever claimed that Peter was a pushover.  This guy has guts.  Telling “the Son of the Living God” that his plans are against the will of God and he should cease and desist immediately takes a certain kind of bravado (or stupidity).

What in the world possessed Peter to take such a reckless course of action?  Was there some pride (and perhaps arrogance) still lingering in his heart after his confession and Jesus’ unexpected but pleasant blessing on him?  Was it really so easy to go from speaking revelations from God to being the voice of Satan in the span of a few minutes?   Apparently so.  Jesus doesn’t take his rebuke lightly, especially when he looks around at the other disciples and sees the same doubt in their eyes.

“Get behind me, Satan” Jesus says to Peter, no doubt quite sternly.  What are we to make of that?  Was Peter possessed by Satan at that moment?  Could be, I suppose.  More likely Jesus was connecting Peter’s attitude and mindset with the same unbelieving (even “Satanic”) mindset of all those disciples who had chosen to stop following him.  “You do not have in mind the things of God, but the things of men.”  No doubt.  But there is more here, I think.

Just before Jesus rebukes Peter it says that “Jesus turned and looked at his disciples.”  They, too, were waiting for an answer.  This wasn’t just about Peter and his “Satanic” mindset, it was about his actions also affecting the other disciples and influencing them not to follow Jesus.  Not to seek Jerusalem.  The Devil decieves others and involves others in his deceptions.  Then he accuses the very ones he decieved.  He trips them up and then laughs when they are down.  He distracts, blinds, cajoles, tempts, shames the people of God, doing whatever it takes for them not to follow Christ in the way of the cross.  The cross is his achille’s heel.  It is his doom, his destruction, his demise.  He works hard to keep the heart of the gospel out of the hearts of God’s people.  And to the degree that we help him with this task, even unwittingly, we are also “Satanic.”

Jesus called it “Satanic.”  That is how important it is.  That is how fierce the battle is right at that point, the point of humbling oneself in transparent confession, the daily struggle of faith to live a life of repentance, to forgive others who have wronged you and don’t even care, to fight, fiercely, for reconcilliation with others though they aren’t interested.  The ministry of reconciliation is true spiritual warfare and in the heat of battle we must ask ourselves continually whether or not our words and actions are “Satanic” or “Divine” (and not be too quick to answer).

It is easy to label as “Satanic” a cult which sacrifices chickens (or perhaps even humans) and which reads from the Satanic Bible and worships the Devil directly.  And rightly so.  But what about the “Satanic cult” which exists in our own churches, when fellow believers both decieve and accuse their brothers, causing them to sin and then bringing it to light as if they had nothing to do with it.  What about leaders who withhold their blessing from some people because they disagree with them, or simply don’t like them or they don’t feel their undying support for their ministry.  Pastors who tell someone that they won’t pray for them anymore as if prayer is a weapon to be manipulated by those in power.  Leaders who decide that the homeless, the difficult, the ones asking for money aren’t allowed in church and who threaten to call the police if they show up again.  Pastor’s wives who complain that noone respects their authority when their authority is not positional but spiritual and relational (and cannot be demanded but earned).  Elders who don’t trust someone based on hearsay or because of character traits they find uncomfortable, not realizing that a lack of trust is a lack of reconciliation and cannot be allowed (especially at the leadership level).  What about the numberous times that people, like Peter (a leader in the early church), get in the way of the other disciples who want to follow Jesus but are afraid and need to be encouraged, but the leader lacks the courage himself to follow and justifies it by blocking the entire procession or leading them off on some distracting side path, away from Jerusalem.

And it wasn’t the last time that Peter did this.  A close reading of Paul’s letter to the Galatians will reveal more of this drama.  Paul tells us, “When Peter came to Antioch, I opposed him to his face, because he was clearly in the wrong.  Before certain men came from James, he used to eat with the Gentiles.  But when they arrived, he began to draw back and separate himself from the Gentiles because he was afraid of those who belonged to the circumcision group.  The other Jews joined him in his hypocrisy, even Barnabas was led astray.  When I saw that they were not acting in line with the truth of the gospel, I said to Peter in front of them all.  “You are a Jew, yet you live like a Gentile and not like a Jew.  How is it, then, that you force Gentiles to follow Jewish customs?  We who are Jews by birth and not ‘Gentile sinners’ know that a man is not justified by observing the law, but by faith in Jesus Christ…….if righteousness could be gained through the law, Christ died for nothing!” (Galatians 2: 11-16a, 21b).

This was a big issue in the early church.  Can someone be a Christian and follow Jesus without first becoming a Jew?  Many Jews (who called themselves Christians) thought that the Gentiles had to become Jews first through the ceremony of circumcision before they could become Christians.  Circumcision was a visible sign of the covenant between God and his chosen people in which their acceptance by God was based on observance of the law (including the sacrificial laws).  The whole point of the gospel is that we are no longer under law and therefore circumcision is unnecessary.  Paul goes so far as to say that if you submit yourself to circumcision, you are not a Christian.  “Mark my words! I, Paul, tell you that if you let yourselves be circumcised, Christ will be of no value to you at all.  Again I declare to every man who lets himself be circumcised that he is obligated to obey the whole law.  You who are trying to be justified by the law have been alienated from Christ; you have fallen away from grace” (Galatians 5: 2-4 NIV).

This is a big deal and Peter is clearly in the wrong.  His actions, as a leader, were influencing others, even Baranabas, to deny the gospel and prevent others from following Christ.  Paul rebukes him in public.  We don’t know what happened next but you can imagine.  Peter may have had flashbacks to this rebuke by Christ himself.  He may have remembered his own denial of Christ at the trial on that fateful night.  In any case, reconciliation must have happened at some point.  Peter in his second letter to the churches, written most probably near the end of his life, says, “Bear in mind that our Lord’s patience means salvation, just as our dear brother Paul also wrote you with the wisdom that God gave him.  He writes the same way in all his letters, speaking in them of these matters.  His letters contain some things that are hard to understand, which ignorant and unstable people distort, as they do the other Scriptures, to their own destruction” (II Peter 3: 15,16 NIV).

Wow!  What a story!  Even Peter can screw up big time and needs to be rebuked (more than once).  The miracle is that he responded correctly, admitting his wrong, repenting and seeking forgiveness and reconciliation.

That isn’t all that common, you know.  Especially among teachers and leaders of the church.  Some pastors simply cannot be told anything, or taught by anyone else (unless they are a famous author or international speaker).  Some pastors are simply blind to the implications of the gospel.  They are wonderful orators and can speak eloquently about biblical truth but when they get off the pulpit, they can’t see how the gospel is applied to their daily life (other than as a general focus on morality).

Still others are unclear, unfocused, blinded to the gospel (yes, even pastors).  They simply do not understand the simplicity of the ministry of reconciliation, of the power of the gospel to heal relationships (especially with God but also between believers).  They do not understand that the purpose of the worship service is to facilitate reconciliation, that the purpose of every spiritual conversation is encourage people to take the steps necessary to follow Christ down the path, seeking Jerusalem, seeking the new Jerusalem, the spiritual unity that comes from the ministry of reconciliation and results in the anointing that makes ministry and growth and transformation possible.  Not many pastors have that focus and the church is much weaker because of it, lacking spiritual power and wondering why things are so difficult, dead and defeated in the community of disciples who are believers but not followers.

The power of forgiveness rooted in the cross is something that the world desperately needs but cannot have without first making a confession about who Jesus is and then following him.  The power of the cross is rooted in the person of Christ and there are no shortcuts.  If confession, repentance, forgiveness and reconciliation are not recognized as the way of the cross and does not make up the focus and the application of the preaching of the gospel and the daily work of the ministry, then the Pastor is simply spouting hot air, or worse, distracting the people of God from following Jesus and seeking Jerusalem.  The heart of biblical discipleship is the ministry of reconciliation.  That is the road to God’s favor and anointing and He will bless nothing less than a ministry focused on the cross.

Have you ever been rebuked?  I have.  It wasn’t pleasant but it was necessary.  Have you ever rebuked a leader publicly?  I hope not (for the leader’s sake) but I have when the gospel was at stake.  That was also not very pleasant but it was necessary.  I simply could not let it go.  Throwing the poor out of the church (or anyone else for that matter) just because they are difficult or uncomfortable or smell bad cannot be allowed.  It is Jesus’ church after all, not yours or mine (or the Pastor’s).  And isn’t the Word of God clear about such things?  In the book of James, it tells us what we should do in these situations.  “My brothers, as believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ, don’t show favoritism.  Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in shabby clothes also comes in.  If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, ‘Here’s a good seat for you,” but say to the poor man, “You stand there” or “Sit on the floor by my feet,” have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?” (James 2: 1-4 NIV).

I guess the answer is “Yes!”  Even when it is not the usher but the pastor or a preaching elder, they have become “judges with evil thoughts.”  It is worse when the leadership does it because they influence others to follow their example.  Are you surprised that a leader can preach the gospel one moment (with true revelation from God) and the next moment say something or do something totally inappropriate and against the gospel (which is, according to Jesus, quite “satanic”)?  Don’t be surprised.  We are all capable of that duplicity, that deception, that kind of evil.  Even as Christians.  Even as leaders of the church.  Even Peter.

The beautiful thing about a rebuke is that it is an act of grace.  In the Old Testament as well as the New, the Bible tells us that “God disciplines those he loves” (Proverbs 3,12 and Hebrews 12:6,10).  To think that we don’t need to be rebuked is naive.  To assume that we don’t need to be corrected or trained in righteousness, in the gospel, in discipleship is simply arrogant.  In humility, we need to recognize that our righteousness is of Christ and not of ourselves and therefore we still need work, maybe a lot of work.  We are sinners made righteous by Christ through the cross and therefore confession, repentance, forgiveness and reconciliation are the daily steps of our walk in the way of the cross.

It is what Christ meant when he said, “Take up your cross daily, and follow me” (Luke 9:23 NIV).  So why are we surprised that leaders fall, that they are tempted, that they miss the boat and sink into the water?  Why are we so quick to condemn Peter who was the first one out of the boat, the first one to speak up and share his confession, the first one to claim that he would die for Jesus (though he ended up betraying him three times).  Peter is just like you and me.  A sinner made righteous.  Loved enough by Jesus to be rebuked (and to take it).

Do we need to be rebuked this Lenten season?  Have we influenced people negatively in their walk with the Lord either through our words or actions?  Will we respond to the rebuke with humility (or throw the person who stands up for the poor out of the church as well)?  Are we seeking Jerusalem or are we too committed to our own egos, our own social standing, our own righteousness.  The way is dangerous.  Humility and confession may make you look bad, may get you fired, or even divorced.  Transparency is a scary thing and people avoid it like the plague.  Jesus didn’t say it would be easy.  He just said, “Come and follow me.”

The Desert Warrior

P.S.  If you have been rebuked (through words or circumstances) by Jesus because of something that you have done or said, it’s time to talk to him about it…

“Lord, you are in the right and I am in the wrong.  I know it in my heart.  Forgive me.  It was my arrogance, my blindness, my stupidity that made me do it.  Your rebuke was what I needed.  I know you love me too much to let me wallow in self-pity and doubt.  I know that you love me to death.  You are excited that I am part of your family and I am excited to be here too.  It’s a bit of a miracle, frankly, because I know myself and I can be quite stubborn.  Sorry about that.  Lord, help me to make it right with the person(s) that I have offended (even if they didn’t realize it).  I don’t care what it costs me to confess and I don’t care whether they accept it well or not.  I want to follow you.  Seeking Jerusalem.  Give me a band of like-minded brothers and sisters that can help me along the way.  In your name I pray.  Amen”

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Seeking Jerusalem – Day 2 “The Confession”

15 Thursday Feb 2018

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The Way of the Cross – Lenten Season 2018

(Jesus) asked his disciples, “Who do people say that the Son of Man is?”  They replied, “Some say John the Baptist; others say Elijah; and still others, Jeremiah or one of the prophets.”

“But what about you?” he asked.  “Who do you say I am?”  Simon Peter answered, “You are the Christ, the Son of the living God.”  Jesus replied, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by man but by my Father in heaven” (Matthew 16:13b-17 NIV).

The Confession

Just before Jesus predicts his suffering and death in Jerusalem, we have this wonderful moment when Peter gives his famous confession about who Jesus is.  You are the Christ, the Son of the Living God.  Heady stuff.  Especially in the context of what was going on at that point in Jesus’ ministry.

Not many people realize that after feeding the 5000, there was a group of people who intended to come and force Jesus to become king (John 6:15).  Jesus slips away by himself and then, that night he walks on water to catch up with his disciples during the storm.  On the other side of the lake a lot of these same people found him again.

Jesus rebukes them harshly.  Remember that these are not the Pharisees or the Chief Priests but rather the common man, many of them his disciples, his followers, the crowds who loved him.  They, no doubt, thought that Jesus wanted to be king.  That was the whole point, wasn’t it?  The prophecies spoke of a Messiah who was a warrior king and would defeat the enemies of God.  The people of Israel had been waiting forever for the Messiah to show up and now Jesus was here.  He was the Messiah, and therefore should be king.  He could use his power to throw out the Romans once and for all.

Perhaps their intentions were good, perhaps a bit self-serving but in any case it was not what Jesus planned to do.  The people had conveniently forgotten that there was another set of prophecies about the Messiah that saw him as a suffering servant and a lamb to be slaughtered (Isaiah 53).  What good was that in throwing out the Romans?  It was a prophecy easily overlooked in their zeal for freedom from slavery and oppression.  And that’s a good thing, isn’t it?

Now they were insisting that Jesus become their King and they had followed him to the other side of the lake to press their claim.  But Jesus was having none of it.  They  had connected the dots between the feeding of the 5000 and the manna in the desert that Moses had brought down from heaven.  Maybe they expected to see miracles from Jesus on the magnitude of the ten plagues of Egypt, the parting of the Red Sea, the fire on the mountain of Sinai, the daily provision of food and water in the desert for over a million people for 40 years.  Heady times indeed.  The heavens would part and, with hosts of angels at his command, he would fight and destroy the Roman armies and Israel would once again, as in the time of David and Solomon, take her rightful place as head of the nations, the chosen people of God.

But Jesus had other ideas.  They were impressed with bread so he talked about the bread of life.  They seemed to like the idea.  “Sir,” they said, “from now on give us this bread.”  Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life.  He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty” (John 6:34,35).

Jesus knew that they were just trying to be polite and looking for a way to convince him still to become king.  So he puts it back in their faces and tells them plainly that they do not believe in him.  And it was true.  The grumbling starts again because he had said that he was the “living bread that came down from heaven” (John 6:41 NIV).  This wasn’t the idea of the Messiah that they were working with.  The Messiah was supposed to be a new Moses, another like Elijah, someone who could do signs and wonders and could be counted on to lead them in the fight against the Romans.

But Jesus isn’t done.  He goes even further.  “This bread is my flesh,” he said, “which I will give for the life of the world” (John 6: 49-51 NIV).  Everything went downhill from there.  You can imagine.

Apparently this conversation is happening over multiple days and in multiple locations.  The arguing and grumbling is probably happening while they are walking and moving from place to place doing ministry.  Then it would, no doubt, boil over into another confrontation and Jesus would just make it worse by being even more blunt.

Can you blame them for being upset that Jesus is suggesting that they had to eat his flesh and drink his blood? What’s that all about?  It makes no sense unless you, first of all, acknowledge who he truly is.  Unless you sit back, shut up and allow Jesus to explain himself, to set his own agenda, to lead.

Finally in the synagogue in Capernaum, Jesus lays it on the line.  “I tell you the truth, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you.  Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life and I will raise him up at the last day” (John 6:53,54 NIV).  Oh, for Pete’s sake.  What kind of Messiah is this?  Does he believe in human sacrifice?  What kind of leader talks like that?

If they had understood that he was the kind of Messiah that Isaiah 53 talked about, a lamb led to the slaughter, a passover sacrifice, thereby becoming spiritual food and drink, creating a relationship, a “oneness” with him, a total identification with his sacrifice, with the cross, with the true purpose for which he came into the world, perhaps then they would have believed and followed.

But, even that isn´t good enough for Jesus.  He wouldn’t have let them off the hook.  It isn’t about understanding everything.  He was in the middle of doing it, showing it with his own actions, his own sacrifice.  They would only understand by faith and by following.  If you believe in him and answer his call to “come and follow,” it will all become clear on the journey.  It isn’t about getting all of your theology straight beforehand.  If you only follow when you understand, you are still in charge.  It’s still your agenda.  Follow because of who he is, not because of how much you have figured out.  Some of what he says may sound crazy at first.  Follow anyway.

John tells us that “on hearing it, many of his disciples said, “This is a hard teaching.  Who can accept it?  Aware that his disciples were grumbling about this, Jesus said to them, “Does this offend you?…..The Spirit gives life; the flesh counts for nothing.  The words I have spoken to you are spirit and they are life” (John 6: 60-63 NIV).

It isn’t about eating physical flesh, Jesus was saying.  Giving his closest disciples some extra grace by making things clearer.  The flesh means nothing.  It’s about spirit and life.  It’s about relationship.  Those who believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of the Living God, will give up their small ambitions (boats, careers, family) and follow Him and accept His teaching and believe that it is true whether they understand it all at the moment or not.  Because they know him and they trust him.

But those who do not believe in him (who he is), will find fault with him no matter what he says and does.  They have their own agenda (even Judas did apparently) and will not follow the lead of the one who has been “sent from heaven”.  That is why the confession of Peter is the foundation of the church.  That is why it is so important to find out for yourself who Jesus is.  Even when everyone else thinks believing in God is stupid and following Jesus is nuts.  You must decide on that one, key thing.  Who do you say that I am?

John reports that “from this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him” (John 6:66 NIV).  You can almost see the twelve huddled around a campfire, dejected and confused, wondering for themselves why they were there and what was going to happen next.  Of course this was the perfect moment for Jesus to ask them the essential question.

After Peter blurts out his confession,  Jesus sets out his agenda and defines his Messiahship.   He would be a suffering servant, not a warrior king who would defeat the Romans in open battle.  He would be a lamb led to the slaughter and, in that way, fight the true enemies of God – “against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms” (Ephesians 6:12 NIV). That’s where the fight is.

So he tells them that he must go to Jerusalem and must suffer and be rejected, even killed and then rise after three days.  This is his plan.  Will you follow him? Can you hear his voice beckoning you to join him in this cause?

And don’t think for a moment that the disciples are not fully aware of other so-called Messiahs who have made a bid for the throne and have been found wanting (Acts 5: 35-39 NIV).  Not only did the Romans kill the leaders, but they routinely crucified the followers as well, a warning to other would-be rebels against the power of almighty Rome.

Don’t think for a moment that the disciples didn’t understand what Jesus was saying, what he was asking, what was likely to happen.  Jerusalem was a powderkeg ready to blow and they weren’t sure what would happen.  Maybe they still believed that Jesus would defeat the Romans somehow, in his own way.  It was still dangerous.  Seeking Jerusalem is always dangerous.  Jesus was asking for a confrontation, a showdown, a final battle.  Whatever their justification, whatever they were thinking, (and they were still confused about Jesus’ agenda even up to the time of the ascencion c.f. Acts 1:6 NIV), they decide to follow him anyway.  Just because of who he is.

It starts with a confession and the confession takes faith and faith is a gift from God.  If you don’t have it, ask for it.  Tell him you want to believe.  He is more than happy to work with you, to get you to that place of confession, the first step in the journey of faith.

This Lenten season, he calls us once again to leave father and mother, brother and sister and follow him, whatever the cost, whatever the outcome.  It starts with a confession, then comes the invitation to follow, finally the journey into darkness begins – following and carrying the light of the world.

The Desert Warrior

P.S.  If you haven’t yet made a confession of faith in him, now is as good a time as any.  Talk to him right now…

“Lord, I confess that you are the Messiah, the Son of the Living God.  I don’t care what the world says, or my family, or my friends.  I believe it.  I know in my heart that it is true.  I’m scared of following you because you tend to ask a lot of your followers, everything in fact, and I’m not sure I can do that.  I want to follow you but I need your help and the encouragement of your true disciples.  Send me some people who can help me on the journey.  Thank you, Lord.  Amen.”

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